Kids' Activities, momlife, parenting, They Said WHAT?, Why We're Salty

Haters at the Beach

Why do there have to be so many haters?!?

Okay, so I was going to take my kids to the beach. I live in a beach city, so it’s not the ordeal you might imagine. We were going for an hour and a half. My friends were going. I had packed everything and we were in the car and ready to go.

And DANG you would think I announced I was going to take my kids to fight tigers.

My husband says to me, “If you think it’s safe to take both kids, then go ahead.”

Oh hi, passive aggression. As in, “if somebody dies, remember, it’s on YOU.”

My mom says to me, when I call to complain about my husband’s lack of confidence, “No, no, of COURSE you can do this. (Is someone else going to help you? Do you have the ergo? Do you have puddlejumpers for both of them? Do you have sunscreen?)”

Cause clearly, I forgot all the beach stuff. You know, for the beach.

Even the effing lifeguard was like, “Ma’am, I know she has a puddlejumper on, but do you really want to let her play in the water by herself? Not the smartest move.”

Dear teenaged sir, I do not consider her going hip-high in water while I stand ten feet away to be in the water by herself. But since you are technically in charge here, I’m gonna have to act all concerned like I didn’t see the error of my ways until just now, and pretend that you didn’t just call me dumb to my face.

I mean, good grief. Give me a BREAK, y’all. It’s the beach- NAY, it’s the BAY- there aren’t even any waves! I keep these kids alive on the regular. I think I can handle two hours on the beach.

Triple Selfie at the Beach

I mean, yes, Abram did drink some salt water, and Lila got a little sunburned, and I got scolded by a lifeguard. But did anybody die? No, thank you very much. So that’s gotta count for something.

And next time, I’m not telling any of you people that I’m even going to the beach. So don’t expect an invite. You ain’t coming.

Except the lifeguard, I guess. But hopefully the next one can mind his own darn business and let me and my kids get our beach on in peace.

Kids at the beach

Everyone's got something to say, from the husband to the lifeguard. Our experience with haters at the beach, and how to overcome them!

48 thoughts on “Haters at the Beach”

  1. I took my kids for a bike ride on a really great path one day that runs along a river. However there are trees between the path and river the entire way. Before we started I wanted to let my husband know we weren’t home. Same story! “Oh my God if Parker loses control and falls in you won’t be fast enough to get him out. He will die.” It ruined the whole experience for me. Lol. Nobody died, all three kids did great considering the other two were strapped in and stuck! What are we supposed to do when we are stuck with the kids 24/7 on our own! I don’t tell anymore either. We even went to the zoo just the three kids and myself this year. Again, all 3 made it home 🙄

  2. Hey you, commenter up there. I love you.
    Hey Jaymi, my parents used to FORCE my 16 year old self to take my younger brother and sister to the beach. By myself. I totally paid really close attention to them, too. You are a way better mom that teenage non-mom me.

    1. It’s absolutely astounding to me. Like, yes it is hard, and sometimes, on some days, when your kids are in certain phases and stages- yes, I can absolutely see it being too hard. But maybe let me make that call for my individual children, yeah?

  3. I had to admit I always wait to go to the beach with my husband, but mine are still little and I wouldn’t want to risk it.

  4. Damn! I didn’t think someone would get so much heat just for taking their kids to the beach!! I’m actually surprised. LOL I wonder if Ill also get haters too once I become a mom because that’s something I would prob do too.

  5. I have 2 kids and have taken them to the beach solo too. Not sure what the big deal is but I did ask my husband to take both kids with him to the store the other day so I could catch a break. He looked at me crazy..”I can’t handle both of them…” Um…really?

  6. Because when you’re a parent, EVERYONE has an opinion on what kind of a job you’re doing ha. This was a funny, relatable and light read though, so thanks for that! 🙂

  7. Just because THEY couldn’t handle it on their own doesn’t mean YOU can’t! You’re awesome and they should bow down to your supermom skills.

  8. One time a lifeguard told my kid he shouldn’t be in the water (not even to his KNEES) by himself. I was about ten feet away too. My sassy then 6-year-old wanted to know “who do you think you are, talking to a kid like that?” 😂

  9. It’s funny how dad’s always have something to say. They may not feel like they can handle two kiddos at once in public but us mom’s do it all the time!

  10. Ahh!!! Those obtrusive know-it-alls… 🙁 Don’t they know a mom’s got this?! I actually can’t believe the lifeguard said that. I mean, I’m 100% neurotic when it comes to water safety (because I’m personally a pretty sh&* swimmer), but still… Loosen up, people!

    1. I’m super type A, so yeah, water safety is definitely on my radar! The assumption that just because I look casual from the outside means I’m not paying attention KILLS me!

  11. HAHA! This is hilarious. I can literally see your eye rolls 😛 Glad you and your kiddos got to have some fun!

  12. I think as Mom’s we know what’s best for our kids. And if you think you can handle both kids at the beach then go for it mama. You got this! Ignore the negative opinions and comments

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