Why am I fighting with my husband about parenting? And do I correct my husband too much? Am I too hard on him? If you find yourself asking these questions, here are 5 ways to stop correcting your husband’s parenting, and bring a little less nagging into your marriage.
As a stay at home Mom, I’m a little set in my ways. I have a routine down with my kids and somewhere along the line I started to think that the only way things could be done was my way.
I started fighting with my husband about parenting, because frankly, I thought he was doing it all wrong. He was getting annoyed and volunteering to do things less. He wasn’t as hands on as he had been in the past and I grew to resent that.
Eventually, I found myself asking, “Am I too hard on my husband?”
The answer was totally yes.
If you are wondering if you should correct your husband’s parenting, or if you’re not sure why you keep fighting about parenting, here are 5 ways that I lightened up.
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Stop Criticizing How Your Husband Dresses the Kids
My husband, God bless him, is a walking cliché of a man that has no clue about how to dress. I made him a capsule wardrobe so that he’d be sure to always match.
My kids? Have about a thousand times more clothes than he does. So the odds that he’d dress them in perfectly matching outfits is slim to none. He’s sent my kids out in colors that clash, clothes that belong to the other kids and are totally the wrong size, and almost never adds the “right” accessories.
But they’re dressed appropriately for the weather. They’re comfortable for whatever activity is planned. And they couldn’t care less if they’re not looking like they fell out of a catalog.
Old me would chastise him for not getting the kids (especially the girls) dressed in “cute” outfits. New me is just happy that they’re dressed and that he’s involved.
Stop Nagging Your Husband About How He Reads to the Kids
Reading is a sacred art in my house. I do voices. I put effort into tone and cadence. I elevate the reading experience. My husband plows through books with a lack of respect that I find appalling.
Recently, my son asked Daddy to do the nightly reading of Harry Potter and I died a little inside when he didn’t even whisper “Voldemort” with the reverence it deserves. Yet somehow, despite all the effort I put in, my kids still don’t seem to mind the way my husband reads!
Which is when I realized that correcting my husband about this was a little ridiculous. He’s reading to our kids. He’s spending sacred time with them and that’s what matters. Not that he uses voices, but that they hear his voice.
Related Post: Our Favorite Books to Read to Our Kids
Fighting With My Husband About Screen Time
My husband doesn’t take care of the kids himself a ton. So when he does, I sort of expect him to dance like a puppet and entertain them nonstop. Which soooooo isn’t fair.
If it’s his Saturday and he wants to veg out and let the kids watch TV, who am I to judge? I certainly let the kids do it! And if he ever dared to tell me that I let the kids watch too much TV, I’d probably read him the riot act.
And yet, I’ve found myself fighting with my husband about screen time. “Seriously? You’re letting the kids watch TV right now?”
Looking back, I feel terribly that I ever guilted him about relaxing for a little bit. Especially because he’s also the first to bust out the Lego, build a whole city out of blocks, or set up an obstacle course in the backyard. He loves to play with the kids, but sometimes he also loves to curl up and watch a movie with them too.
Related Post: Love Letters to Our Kids Favorite Cartoons
How He Grabs a Beer as Soon as He Gets Home
Most nights, my husband walks in the door, kisses everyone hello, and walks straight out the back door to go to the garage refrigerator where the beer is. And every night it drove me CRAZY. I’d think, “OH! You can’t even deal with us for the night without grabbing a beer first?!?!” Then I’d walk over to the kitchen refrigerator and scowl at him as I classily opened my can of wine.
Yeah, I had a hard day home with the kids. But he had a hard day at work too. He wasn’t going back to the garage over and over and over again. He wasn’t ignoring us to hang out with Jack Daniels. He was drinking one beer to enjoy his evening – with us.
So now, instead of feeling snubbed, we “Cheers.” Because it’s always better to be in this together. Preferably with a canned alcoholic beverage in our hands.
Nagging My Husband About His Phone
At some point on a normal weekend, I throw my husband and the kids into the backyard and tell them to all play nicely together while I shower/mealplan/eat something/get 5 minutes of alone time gosh darnit! Then I go back outside and give an exasperated sigh when I see the three kids playing while my husband tunes out on his phone.
But the thing is – they’re happy, they’re safe, and there’s no reason my husband can’t relax a little too. So unless I want to start getting a table ready for “Hypocrite, Party of One” I gotta lighten up on the way my husband chills with the kids.
Related Post: How to Get Your Husband Off the Phone Without Nagging!
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At the end of the day, my husband loves our kids and will never let anything bad happen to them. Fighting with my husband about parenting (at least on the things that don’t ACTUALLY matter) is just not worth it.
So what if he relaxes, enjoys them and dresses them in outfits that make me cringe? None of that is worth the nagging and fighting and getting salty. So today, tomorrow and always, I will try my darndest to let him parent his way – without my not-so-constructive criticism.
Looking for more posts about being married with kids? Head here next-
- How to Get Your Husband Off the Phone – Without Nagging!
- How Following My Passion Made My Marriage Stronger
- Book Review: Baby Proofing Your Marriage (Works for Marriage with Older Kids, too!)
Ugh, the phone thing. My husband spends way too much time on his phone in general. I always tell him that he’s going to go blind looking at that thing all the time. It’s good that you’ve been able to get to the point where you can look past it. I’m not quite there yet. lol.
If it was chronic phone use I’d not be so chill ? But we’ve fought that battle and come out the other side with some rules in place – like no phones in the bedroom. So no if he wants to relax in the sun and read dorky tech news? Go for it Daddio!
Thats a good rule. May have to bring that one up:)
It’s made my life soooo much more pleasant. Sometimes at night we exchange actual grown up words now! ?
I don’t even know what those are any more. Ha ha!
Thank you so much for this excellent reminder!