Effing Four Year Olds, Kids' Activities, momlife, Why We're Salty

6 Games we Secretly Hate to Play with Our Kids

Make no mistake: We love our kids. We do. No matter what you read in the rest of this post, hold tight to that solid truth. But there is another truth, that is just as true: We HATE some of the games they require us to play with them. In no particular order, here are the games we wouldn’t mind never ever ever not once having to play ever again.


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Holidays, Kids' Art Projects, Recipes, Saturday Six, The Wonderful Ones, Why We're Salty

Saturday Six

Another Saturday, another week of Mothering under our belt, another Saturday Six. Enjoy!

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1. Crafts and Cabin Fever

We’ve been housebound a lot recently thanks to rain, ear infections, and the dreaded flu. When we get cabin fever, we like to bust something out of our secret craft stash! This week, we looked forward to a break from the rain with this Hide and Seek Rock Painting kit that we can take outside when the clouds part! And you can’t go wrong with ANY of the craft kits from ALEX Toys! (But this one’s on sale for 50% off right now!)

2. We LOVE Low Mess Meals

Have you ever noticed how many delicious “One Pan” dishes there are on Pinterest? But then they’re all “We SAID one pan, but that’s really only if you have a cast iron skillet, and if you don’t then you need to use a regular skillet and then transfer into a baking dish, and I realize this changes EVERYTHING because you were really planning on this dinner when you pinned it and we lied to you about that one dish thing?”

Yeah, we’ve noticed it too. So Christine finally bit the bullet and bought this cast iron skillet and now she’ll never get screwed by Pinterest again. Well, until she tries to do some “kid friendly craft” that proves to be anything but…..

3. National Puppy Day

Is it any coincidence that Chad sent Christine a picture of puppies on National Puppy Day and suggested that one join the family? Spoiler alert: She said No. Or, more accurately, “HELL NO!” I mean, they’re cute and all, but puppies? Stay tuned and she’ll fill everyone in on the ten reasons she gave him for absolutely, under to circumstances, adding another family member let alone one covered in fur that will never be potty trained.

4. Christine is Having MAJOR Problems with Co-Sleeping.

Mainly, her kids all want to and she doesn’t. It’s like having a newborn again with all the shuffling kids back to their beds all night long. Or they stay and rub their feet on her all night long, which is worse. Christine and Chad considered getting an obscenely giant bed like this one from The Ace Collection, but knows they’d still end up getting pushed off the edge somehow. The struggle is real.

5. Jaymi’s Not the Only One Going Gray!

If you loved reading about the way she embraced her gray – and then how she changed her mind and went down the rabbit hole of hair coloring, then you’ll totally dig our friend SewGeekMama’s fight with her husband over her gray silver hair.

And if you haven’t ready any of that, well, now you have something to do while you drink your coffee! Or wine. We don’t judge.

 

6. Tragedy at Jaymi’s House

We love Abram, we really do, but we were not loving the way he threw Little Blue Truck across the room when he was done reading it peacefully. And we especially did not love the tragedy that befell the TV screen when it happened.

Help Jaymi not feel alone! Comment with the biggest tragic accident that’s happened at your house! And have a great weekend!

Caffeine, Chick-Fil-A, momlife, parenting, They Said WHAT?, Why We're Salty

Open Letters to the People That Make Us Salty

In my mind, I’m the kind of assertive woman that speaks her mind. I’m a good role model for my children and will always stand up for myself, especially in front of them. I ain’t afraid of nobody and will tell them what’s up with all the confidence in the world. In reality? I’m just a really tired lady that thinks of witty comebacks about 45 minutes too late. So instead of telling all of these people what I really think of them in the moment – I’ll just leave these open letters here, and dream of the day they become viral and all the people that need to read them get the message.

Continue reading “Open Letters to the People That Make Us Salty”

Bouncing Babies, momlife, parenting, They Said WHAT?, Why We're Salty

My “Boy” Looking Baby Girl

As Moms we have a thousand “WTF just happened???” moments. Whether they happen in a kids play area with strangers or at our own family functions, we’re constantly exposed to other people’s opinions. It happens so often we need to become ducks and let that ish just roll off our back. Or we’d never make it. But some stories stick with us months later. And we just. can’t. let them go.

This is one of those.

This story starts as most annoying ones do….with me, minding my own business, trying to check out of a Target. Cart full of diapers and impulse purchases, Izzie in one arm the other just trying to scan my stuff so I could pay and get on my way.

Enter Nosy Lady of the Day: 

Nosy: Cute baby. How old is he? Continue reading “My “Boy” Looking Baby Girl”

Chick-Fil-A, Effing Four Year Olds, momlife, They Said WHAT?, Why We're Salty

The Apology Tour

Confession: My favorite part of fast food lunch is the part where my kids play in the play area while I relax with a soda and, hopefully, one of my besties.

This is about as close as I get to a vacation day hour.

And as luck would have it, I got to spend some wonderful time doing just this thing today. As I sat down watching all three of my kids playing happily, I thought, this is the life. The Cherry Coke was perfection. The French fries, life changing. And the conversation with my friends – PRICELESS.

So imagine my horror when a Mom popped her head out of the play area today and asked, “Is one of you the Mom of the boy in the yellow shirt?” Continue reading “The Apology Tour”

Effing Four Year Olds, momlife, parenting, The Salties, They Said WHAT?, Why We're Salty

The Sass is Strong with This One

Raising a bilingual child is so important these days. Many of our friends are choosing dual immersion schools for Spanish, and some are even sending their kids to school to learn Mandarin. For some, it’s about preparing kids to participate in a global economy. For others, it just happens to be the best program around. In many cases, parents just want children to be able to converse with their families.

Which is why Lila is learning the language of sarcasm VERY early on. Continue reading “The Sass is Strong with This One”

Holidays, Mama Loves a Party, Mama Mojo, MicroLuxuries, momlife, Momsquad, Why We're Salty

The Office Party

‘Tis the season for parties – and no party is more quintessential than the “Office Holiday Party.” If you’re lucky, you’ll attend one that’s got good food, an amazing location and, God-willing – an open bar. If you’re not lucky, you may find yourself at a potluck – maybe at your bosses house or maybe just in the breakroom. But you will get to take a few minutes to set aside work and party.

Unless you’re a SAHM.

Because we don’t get work parties. Sure, we might get to attend our partner’s office party, which is cool. We can trail behind them meeting everyone they work with, plastered with a smile and laughing overly unenthusiastically at the bosses jokes. We can shake one thousand hands and introduce ourselves to people who gush that they’ve “heard so much about you!” But you’ve never heard of them so don’t have a great response, but feign a blush and say “Thank you!” Hopefully, you’ve made a ragtag team of other spouses that you see at these events and can go hide near the desserts talking about anything other than the super boring thing your partner does. (Because mine builds ROCKET SHIPS and it’s still boring AF to talk about for 3 hours with people you don’t know).

And it isn’t much better if you’re a working Mom, because you’re basically working two jobs and only getting to party with one set of work friends.

So, I present to you: The Mom Office Party. That’s right, as soon as you’re done reading this, message your partner and tell them you’ve got another party to go to. Decide if you want it to be “employees only” or if partners are invited. Grab a babysitter if necessary. Then call up your girls and tell them to meet you at Applebee’s tomorrow night for $1 Long Island Iced Teas (because unfortunately, as independent contractors, we’ll be covering our own bar tab).

Note: It does not HAVE to be Applebee’s, that just happens to be where Jaymi and I will be tomorrow night, and the $1 drinks just happen to be our reason. Also, happy hour prices on apps all night, but you do you!

Realizing that Christmas is one week away and there’s no way you’ll squeeze this festive event in before that? No problem! Plan one for after the holiday rush is over and add in a “Re-Gift Exchange” for guaranteed laughs.

I mean, people are always telling us that while we might not go to a job but that we have the most important job in the world right? So let’s party like it!

Happy Holidays – and let us know where and how you decide to party!!

#christmasparty #holidayparty #SAHM #momlife
Who says SAHM’s can’t have a holiday party? Read more about why you should plan yours!
Bouncing Babies, Married with Children, momlife, The Daddys, They Said WHAT?, Why We're Salty

Yet ANOTHER Thing You Shouldn’t Say to a New Mom

Yes, the internet is full of tips and advice for what NOT to say to a new Mom. Don’t give your advice on decisions she’s already thoughtfully made. Don’t tell her you once knew a girl in high school that was a total B that has the same name as her brand new perfect little baby. And of course say NOTHING about her appearance – except that she looks beautiful.

And yes, despite all those warnings, I have one more for you: Continue reading “Yet ANOTHER Thing You Shouldn’t Say to a New Mom”

Caffeine, Married with Children, momlife, parenting, The Daddys, The Salties, Why We're Salty

The Kind of Tired a Nap Won’t Solve

When my husband asks me what’s wrong, there’s about a 97% chance that I’ll say, “I’m just tired.” And God bless him, 61% of the time he responds with, “I got this – go take a nap.” Then, being the tired complainer I am, I get irritated. Because I don’t want to nap when you decide to give me permission! I want to sleep when I want to!

Which isn’t fair. He’s being nice. And I go and be nasty in return. And then it dawned on me, I’m not just tired. I’m exhausted. And it’s a kind of exhaustion that all the sleep in the world won’t solve. Because I’m not tired of not getting sleep. I’m tired of the Mom jobs that I’m saddled with. They aren’t going away anytime soon, so maybe if I vent them out – hear what makes you exhausted – and hide with my tribe for a few minutes, I can slam a cup of coffee, shake it off, and push through.

Until I cry because they’ve all left me for college.

But for now, here’s why I’m tired:

Continue reading “The Kind of Tired a Nap Won’t Solve”

momlife, Why We're Salty

Apologies on Behalf of My Mommy Brain

Once upon a time, I was a fully functioning adult. I could remember all sorts of things without a thousand reminders. I never rarely lost my car keys, stored non-refrigerator things in the refrigerator (I’m looking at you TV remote), or forgot how to drive to my house.

Then I got pregnant. And had kids. And never slept. And Mommy brain took over and ruined me. So I owe a few people my sincerest apologies.

***********

Dear Friends,

Continue reading “Apologies on Behalf of My Mommy Brain”