Effing Four Year Olds, momlife, parenting, The Salties, Why We're Salty

My Daughter Went Feral (And Not in the Way That’s Trendy Right Now)

My daughter just went full on feral at a birthday party.
One minute, we’re laughing and taking pictures, and the next she’s screaming and clawing and BITING. All because someone “took” the seat she had planned to sit on. I guess I should be grateful she took it out on me instead of the clueless offender, or else I’d never be able to show my face in that circle again. But it’s hard to be grateful for anything when you’re wresting a gnashing alligator that used to be your child in front of a group of people whose opinions and parenting styles you respect.
I mean, what the HELL. If she was a dog we’d be talking about whether or not it’s safe to keep her, but because she’s human, I don’t get a say in the matter. I have to keep her. Safe surrender at a fire station is only good for babies up to three days old. Not that I checked or anything.
But I don’t have to let her keep her cupcake. That bad boy is going right in the trash. It is quite literally the VERY least I could do, on a scale of cupcake tossing to orphanage, so frankly she should be grateful.
Now I’m gonna go nurse my wounds (figurative, luckily, thanks to my seven year career as a bite-dodging-teacher) with a diet Coke the size of my head. Maybe with some vodka in it this time.
Kids know exactly how to embarrass their parents...like by going feral at a birthday party. Read what this hilarious mom did next at thesaltymamas.com!
Caffeine, Cheapskating, MicroLuxuries, Tips & Hacks

Mini MicroHustle- Have You Had YOUR Break Today?

There’s a bright spot in my day lately.  A beautiful oasis in a hot, hot landscape.  The promise of refreshment, enjoyment, a tiny little break.  And this magical oasis? It is likely very near to you indeed- just under the Golden Arches.

Today’s post is spotlighting the rare combination of both a MicroHustle and a MicroLuxury. Odds are, most of you already know about the glory that is the $1 Any Size Fountain Drink campaign, a rare bird that flies in each summer to make the long, warm days more bearable.  And since there is a McDonald’s on basically every corner, and most people are able to carve out a dollar here and there, and you can get to it in a drive-thru format, it is the perhaps the most accessible and the most attainable of all of life’s little luxuries.Me, Lila, Diet Coke.And as if that wasn’t enough (which, if you’ve met me, or read my blog before, or seen my Instagram -you get the idea- you know it would be enough), McDonalds had to go and outdo themselves by making an app.  A pretty darn good app, at that. Not only does the app offer perks like mobile ordering and location finders, but they have some SICK coupons and deals.   They’ve got some of the more standard discounts, like $2 off a $10 purchase, which of course I won’t turn down. But they also regularly offer a TON of good freebies. When the Dodgers win, for example, I get a free six piece nuggets with any purchase (including those $1 fountain drinks!).  Hello, snacktime! And when the Angels win, I get a free signature sandwich with purchase of fries and a dollar coke (so basically a whole meal for $3ish). On FRYdays, you can get a free Medium fry.  And, for most of the summer, I have been able to get a free McFlurry with purchase.

You heard me right, that soft-serve Oreo goodness has been within my reach somewhat regularly for free.  So basically, I can bribe  reinforce my children’s good behavior with ice cream almost any day of the week, AND get myself a Diet Coke the size of my head, for just a buck and tax. Because dreams DO come true people (as long as your dreams are as little as mine, that is).

So if you’re as into either McDonalds or Diet Coke (etc.) as I am, do yourself a favor and download the app. Then find yourself a McDonalds with a Playplace and move on in.  WiFI, endless soda, and free ice cream? Your summer has been solved. You’re welcome.

This is so not even a sponsored post. I just love McDonald’s that much.  But, how you doin’, McDonald’s? Feel free to hit me up if you WANT to sponsor us.

 

Using the McDonald's App to Get Free Stuff