Mom Humor, momlife

Mother’s Day Fantasy vs. Mother’s Day Reality

I’ve got a Mother’s Day hangover. And not the good kind that implies that I spent the entire day relaxing and drinking too much champagne. No, I’ve got the kind where I find myself asking, “What happened yesterday??” Now, I’m not the kind of person that traditionally builds up holidays. I’ve never had high expectations for a life changing New Year’s Eve. I’ve never thought that Valentine’s Day was going to be the most romantic day of the year. But somewhere along the line I saw one too many Mother’s Day commercials with happy kids showering their Moms with love, crafts, coffee and breakfast – even if it was poorly, yet comically, made with egg shells hidden in the omelet.

That was not my Mother’s Day. And as I scrolled through Facebook, I started to think maybe I was the only Mom that didn’t have that picture perfect Mother’s Day….crafts everywhere, Moms thanking their families for the outpouring of love, and me feeling more and more empty. Then I remembered I was on Facebook and decided to go to Twitter, where complaining is more accepted. And I found my people.

But you might be my people too. So here’s what I fantasized for Mother’s Day, and how my day differed dramatically.

What happens when your Mother's Day Fantasies just don't happen?

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momlife

Going to the Aquarium with Kids- How to Let Them Be Little

We have the most fabulous aquarium here in Long Beach, and we take our kids on a regular basis. We go so often that we are familiar with almost all the creatures that live there, and we are past the point where I need to direct my kids attention. We go for an hour or two at a time and I let their interest and attention spans guide the day. Sometimes we gravitate towards the sea lions, and others they just want to sit in the little cutout under the penguin habitat and watch the birds swim above them.  On our most recent trip, they were all about the touch tanks. We looked, we touched, we tried to keep Abram from injuring the poor little creatures, and we splashed a bit in the water. I pointed out a red sea anemone with white polka dots to my daughter. “Look Lila! This one looks like it’s wearing Minnie Mouse’s dress!” She giggled and touched its bumpy surface.

Then here comes Hyper Academic mom.

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momlife

How To Be a Better Mom in 10 Easy Steps

First of all, let us be clear- YOU ROCK ALREADY.  Your kids don’t care whether you made homemade brownies for the bake sale or whether you spent 1,110 hours creating cut-out dinosaurs on the Cricut for their birthday party.  You keep your kids fed. You keep your kids safe. You kiss them and hug them and love them and sometimes they eat candy and sometimes they eat kale and THAT IS ENOUGH.  So if you’re asking yourself how to be a better mom, lady, we’ve got news for you- you are the best mom your kids could ever have. Period.

We asked a lot of amazing mommies just like you to tell us about the mothers in their lives- their mamas, their friends, their kids’ aunties and the random mommies they pass in Target who are keeping their cool while their child goes feral.  And we were so, so happy to see that it isn’t always the BIG things that make a person a great mother. It’s the little things, done sweetly (or even begrudgingly!), on a regular basis that shows your kids that you are there for them.  And if your kids don’t notice it? Well, WE notice it, and odds are, the other people in your life do, too.

So keep on keeping on, Mama. You are doing an AMAZING job. Here are twelve ways that you are probably rocking this #momlife without even knowing it.

Are you looking for ways to be a better mom? We just want to remind you- we think you're already amazing. Read why at TheSaltyMamas.com. #howtobeabettermom #mothersday2018 #mothersday #momlife #motherhood #unitedinmotherhood

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momlife

Lies Parents Tell Their Kids (#SorryNotSorry)

We’re gonna go ahead and put it out there- parents lie to their kids all the time. Like, ALL the time. The lies we tell our kids range from the big and widely accepted (we’re looking at you, Santa) to the small and overused (“we’re leaving soon!”).  But either way? Yeah, #SorryNotSorry. Not even a little bit. So now, in no particular order, we present to you the lies we tell our kids on a regular basis.

Everyone lies to their kids SOMETIMES. We happen to do it a lot. Read about the favorite lies we tell our kids at thesaltymamas.com.

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momlife

How to Create a Toddler Schedule That Will Help Them THRIVE

With limited patience and BIG energies, it can be very difficult to find toddler activities that will keep your kids engaged all.day.long. And with the first three years being crucial to kids’ development, the pressure is on to find activities that will keep your kids happy, playing, and growing the way they should. Making up a toddler schedule can seem overwhelming- there are so many suggestions about how to keep a toddler busy, with each activity lasting for about three minutes- but by sticking to basics and establishing routine daily activities for toddlers, you can really help to create a toddler daily schedule that will leave both you and your child feeling fulfilled.

Creating a daily routine for your toddler helps to make sure that they are progressing in the key areas of language, cognition, gross motor, and fine motor skills.  They seem like heavy concepts (and they are), but when you break them down, there are super fun and simple ways to help toddlers learn the basic skills they need to be successful in preschool and beyond.  We think you’ll find that by fitting each of these activities into your toddler’s daily schedule, you’ll be nurturing their growth, and having lots of fun at the same time.

So without further ado, here are the ten things that you should fit into your toddlers’ schedule every day.

Looking for a toddler daily schedule that will help your child THRIVE (without a ton of prep?) Get your copy now, from thesaltymamas.com.

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Effing Four Year Olds, Kids' Activities, momlife, Why We're Salty

6 Games we Secretly Hate to Play with Our Kids

Make no mistake: We love our kids. We do. No matter what you read in the rest of this post, hold tight to that solid truth. But there is another truth, that is just as true: We HATE some of the games they require us to play with them. In no particular order, here are the games we wouldn’t mind never ever ever not once having to play ever again.


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MicroLuxuries, momlife, parenting, Saturday Six, The Salties

Saturday Six

Have you ever done that thing where you want to do ALL THE THINGS, so you tell everyone yes and you don’t tell anybody no, and then it looks so PRETTY in your color coded Bullet Journal, but then when it comes to actually living that plan, you are EXHAUSTED and wondering what the hell you were thinking?

No? Just us?

At any rate, it was a busy, fun, exhausting week, and in the end we wouldn’t change a thing.  Here are a few of our favorites.

This post contains affiliate links. You can read more at our legal page. Thank you!

1. Impromptu Playdates

What do you do when you have leftover supplies from the preschool Easter Party, and are wondering what to do with all of those pudding cups? Invite over your besties and throw yourselves a party! We made these adorable handprint chickens (Ducks? Whatever. Birds.), ate pudding, and then the kids spent a surprisingly long time coloring these adorable Easter Egg Coloring Pages from Real Mom Recs. So if you’re looking for a last minute Easter activity, she’s got you covered! Just print, cut apart, and set them out for some kid-friendly fun that will (hopefully!) keep them occupied for a good, long time.

2. Being Prime Moms, Not Pinterest Moms

Okay, we take that back- we are a little of both. But Jaymi got so busy making cutesy projects (that she actually enjoyed making) for Abe’s upcoming second birthday that she couldn’t stomach the thought of one.more.project. So when it came time to decide what he’d wear to his party, she thought she’d check Amazon real quick and found out that they actually have a PERFECT shirt for a sports themed second birthday party. How amazing is this cute little tee? And it cost about the same as it would to make it yourself, and saves about 7 hours worth of work probably, so WINNING.

3. Gluten Free Cookies

Jaymi hasn’t had a ton of luck finding a Gluten Free flour substitute she loves, so she finally decided to google “flourless cookie recipe.” Which brought her to these AMAZING chocolate meringue cookies that somehow manage to have that real-cookie texture with none of that floury nonsense.  We’ve got more recipes (both GF and regular!) for you to check out on our Baked with Love Pinterest board.

4. Wandering Wednesday

We participate in a link up party over at Confessions of Parenting called “Wandering Wednesday.” Every week, bloggers drop their best posts on the page, and this week our post “Open Letters to the People that Make Us Salty” was chosen as the featured post.  The link up is open to new bloggers as well- you can find out how to contribute your own piece here.

5. Have You Had That Baby Yet?

We have a few close friends expecting babies soon- like, YESTERDAY kind of soon.  And yes, they are getting sick of hearing “have you had that baby yet?” and “any baby news?” We humbly suggest that they refer all inquiring parties to HaveYouHadThatBabyYet.Com.  Try it- it’s fun.

6. This Wine Glass

Because honestly, it’s been a week, and this wine glass makes us smile. Especially when it’s filled with our favorite white.

 

 

Bouncing Babies, Mama Mojo, Married with Children, momlife, Pregnancy

My REAL Feeling About Our “Surprise” Baby

Confession: Our third child was a big, fat, whoops.

Let me back up a minute. We wanted three kids. Heck, we are still planning to go for four. Five? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. In a very much planned event, our first two kids are 18 months apart. In retrospect, getting pregnant when my first was nine months old – still SUCH a baby himself – was a little, uh, crazy. So, immediately after our daughter was born, I put the kibosh on all baby conversation. I’d only taken a nine month break the first time, but this time I was going to go BIG. I adamantly proclaimed to anyone that would listen that we were taking a WHOLE YEAR OFF this time. For a year we wouldn’t even TALK about that next baby.

During the year, we made our master game plan.

We’d enjoy our first two children. We’d get the swing of things. We’d find our groove. And then, when the kids were older, maybe in school, we’d decide that the time was right. We’d tuck in our kids – maybe 5 and 6 by now – and look at each other, both thinking about how we missed the sweet smell of a little baby, the weight of them in our arms. We’d go for #3 and then quickly after #4. We’d have two sets of two, our perfectly planned family.

But you know what they say about plans. I think I can still hear the heavens chuckling…..

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momlife, The Daddys, They Said WHAT?

10 Reasons to Say NO to a Puppy

This morning I opened my email to find a very rare message from my husband. We’re not people that email, text or really communicate while he’s at work, so I knew this was either something urgent, important, or special. What I received was a picture, followed by this:

Cole’s early birthday present???

I know we are not ready and really this burden would fall 100% on you but this could be the adoring fan who is always there for him that he needs.

I quickly went through a thousand emotions from rage, to thinking he was sweet, to crying at the idea of another thing to keep alive, to swooning over how adorable the pups are, to realizing that I needed to nip this in the bud. Fast.

I clicked “Reply” and fired off my ten reasons we are NOT getting a puppy right now.

#puppy #canihaveapuppy #shouldwegetapuppy #kids #kidsanddogs #kidsandpuppies #puppiesandkids #aboyandhisdog #familydog

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momlife

Fifteen Useless Facts Taking Up Space in Our Mommy Brain

I have a bad case of Chronic Mommy Brain.

For three weeks in a row I came thisclose to forgetting my sons swim lesson. At the same date and time that it’s been for almost a year. I wish that was the only time that Mommy Brain reared it’s ugly head, but it’s not. At this point it’s chronic. I brew a cup of coffee that I forget to drink. It took me weeks to remember to make my kids their dentist appointment. My life is full of lists of things to do. It used to be because of the sense of accomplishment I’d feel crossing things off the list. Now it’s legitimately because I will not remember if I don’t write it down.

Why? WHY?? Surely it’s not because old age has begun to wreak havoc on my mind! I’m 35 – though if you ask me there’s a 97% chance I’ll say I’m 36 because I have FORGOTTEN MY OWN AGE. And I’m not pregnant – knock on wood – which has been my go-to excuse for the past 5 years. So what is it??

I realized it one morning during this conversation:

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