Do you find yourself with a flurry of Holiday MomProblems on your hands this season? Between the Elf on the Shelf and the million gifts to buy, moms are finding that they are SLAMMED. The to-do list is never ending, and the requests to make more and more commitments seem like they’re never going to stop.
Between the Elf on the Shelf and the school functions, the gifts to purchase and then to wrap, and the endless amounts of cooking and baking that go on, you’re likely feeling as stressed as we are.
But never fear- you’re not alone. The Salty Mamas have been there and done that with pretty much all of the Holiday MomProblems you have. In no particular order, here are the things that are driving us crazy this holiday season.
Arguably one of the worst things about kids is that many of them have an irrational hatred for sleep. The worst part of parenting is navigating all of the things that mess up our kids already delicate sleep cycles: teething, climate change. But the greatest of these is Daylight Saving Time. We here at The Salty Mamas firmly believe in keeping it real, so we won’t lie to you. Dealing with the time change is going to SUCK. BUT, there are a few things you might be able to do to help cope with the double trouble of kids and Daylight Saving Time.
If you have kids, you are NO stranger to all the crazy reasons that they’ll throw a fit. And yet, no matter how many tantrums you’ve witnessed, you’ll never stop being amazed at the things kids can freak out over. So we scoured Twitter for some of the funniest, craziest, most ludicrous reasons kids cry. Then, we asked our followers – Why did your kids cry?
You’re in the home stretch of bedtime. Your kids have been bathed. Their teeth are brushed, their jammies are on, and only a bedtime story stands between you and two hours of sweet freedom. You settle down into your kid’s bed, and ask your child to choose the book they want to read tonight.
And then it happens.
Your child brings you – that book. One of the world’s WORST children’s books.
You beg them to choose another- “what about one of the new ones from the library?” or “I’ll read you a whole chapter of Harry Potter!”- but they simply won’t be swayed. You’re going to have to do it. You’re going to have to read a kids’ book that you HATE.
And the odds are? It’s one of these six. Read on for the worst children’s books- the ones we simply can’t STAND to read.
The kids are going back to school, and we’re having all the feelings about it. But at least we can take to Twitter to know that we are not alone. Check out these sometimes hilarious, sometimes kicks you in the feels, but always keepin’ it real, back to school tweets.
Well when you put it that way….
Everybody wants their kids to go back to school, until they’re stranded on the toilet without toilet paper and no one’s around to grab a new roll.
Just when I think I have this parenting thing down, my 9 y/o daughter looks at me while back to school shopping and whispers “Mommy, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” #momlife
First week of school: struggled to wake the kids up at 7am. Everyone in the house in tears.
Saturday: they are both up at 6:30am jumping on my bed. #momlife#parenting#BackToSchool
Told my stepdaughter she could only pick one dress for her first day of school look and she stormed off in a huff so I’m over here in Kohl’s rage sniffing autumn candles if you need me. #momlife#parenting#kohls#momsquad#dadlife
Friendly parenting advice: Don’t start any elaborate and adorable 1st day of school traditions for your first kid you won’t be able to keep up for the rest of the kids.
If thinking this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right….
Am I wrong to expect mimosas at this 9:15am meeting at my child school? It does say on the announcement “do not bring children if possible”. So in my opinion it would be very misleading if no alcohol is served as we prepare our children for Kindergarten.
In case you were wondering if I was a wreck dropping off The Boy for his first day of middle school today, I WAS NOT. I unceremoniously told him to get out of the car and didn’t start getting teary until I was more than 5 miles away. #MomLife
My kids have been fighting like cats and dogs all summer. It’s 10:30 am on the first day of school, and my son is asking when we can go pick up his sister. ??♀️ #Firstdayofschool2018#siblings#momlife#lifewithkids
Today was my kids’ first day of school ever. They were previously homeschooled. I asked my son if he made friends at school. He said he did. I asked what their names were. He responded:
Nothing strikes as much fear into the heart of a toddler mama like two simple words can. Did you guess it? No, not “Uh Oh.” (Although YES. So much yes.) But if you’ve got a kid in the two to three year old range (and particularly if that kid is a boy), I bet you could guess it pretty quickly- Potty. Training.
The internet abounds with tons of amazing tips for potty training a two year old quickly. But then there are the OTHER potty training tips. The tips unlikely to show up in any other Pinterest feature. And, OH do we ever have your back on that front.
For your reading pleasure- a little potty training humor from the dark (and dirty) side of toilet training.
As a Mom, I’m contractually obligated to think my kids are adorable. The cutest kids in the world even. So when I look at my stunningly beautiful children, I do so with the awareness that I’m wearing some serious Mom-colored glasses. I don’t gush about it because the real world may see them through normal glasses and think, “Meh.” But when your bestie, who also happened to have a stint as a Mom to a real life baby model, says, “Hey, have you considered sending in her pics to a modeling agency?,” you think maybe your kid really is as cute as you think she is!
Of course, being a baby model is more than just being cute. And it’s a whole process to get into the game, but thankfully the bestie was there to hold my hand and walk me through the process. So I followed her advice, got some bright solid colored outfits and bought myself a Groupon to the JCPenney portrait studio and crossed my fingers. We got some great shots so I nervously – but somewhat confidently – went to the websites for some reputable local youth talent agencies and submitted my daughter’s pictures.
It wasn’t even 12 hours later before I got our first rejection email. I was immediately thrown into the five stages of baby model rejection. Should you find yourself thinking about entering the cutthroat world of baby modeling, you should be ready to experience all of these feelings as well. (But I’m sure you won’t – because your kid is adorable!)
When the babies were little, we used to take them on these “playdates” with our MomSquad. We’d pick a destination like the nature center or storytime, but what we really wanted was the companionship. And the desire to feel like we were doing something with the babies, because honestly, what are you even supposed to do with a kid that can’t even talk or move on their own yet?
So we’d lay them on the blankets and chit chat about our lives. We only had one veteran mama in our midst at the time, and she casually mentioned that the hardest part about parenting two was that you had to ignore one of your children from time to time.
What she meant, of course, is that one child’s small needs have to take a backseat to the other child’s BIG needs once in a while. Another mama literally put her hand to her mouth in horror. “I don’t care how many kids I have, I would never IGNORE one of my children.”
Spoiler alert: you would. You absolutely would.
Because when you’ve got two or more kids, the concept of “emergency” can take on a whole new meaning. And when faced with aa parenting emergency, you HAVE to favor the squeaky wheel. Because the squeaky wheel may be bleeding. Or trying to poop in a potted plant.
Oh, come on, like that hasn’t happened to you.
At any rate, when you’ve got more than one kid, there’s a whole new hierarchy of what needs to be prioritized. We’ve got the Levels of Parenting Emergencies below, ranked from most severe to “meh.”
Sunday is my son’s 5th birthday party, and as I sit here completely and totally ready taking a short break from the final scramble, I can’t help but reflect on the journey it took to get to this point. I’m literally an event planner by trade, so I had it in my head that I was cut out for this whole party planning thing. I mean, if I can organize 5K fundraising walks for thousands of people and galas that need to raise a million dollars, then surely I can successfully execute one kid’s party right?
Wrong.
All the moody volunteer committees couldn’t prepare me for dealing with one surly 4 year old. The requests – nay demands – like real live unicorns – are out of this world. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here are the 5 steps you must follow to have a successful birthday party!
Being home with my kids is a blessing. I know it. Most days, I’m grateful. Most days are fantastic. And then there are those OTHER days. The days where you’re bored, and the kids are bored, and everyone is just a little bit off. The fact that the day is SUPPOSED to be a blessing somehow makes the whole thing worse, and you find yourself with a case of the Mondays on a Wednesday morning. The toddler schedule isn’t working, you’re not the fun and funny mom you usually are, and you’re questioning your ability to actually parent these tiny little monsters. You start to spiral, and then decide that, come Hell or high water, this day will be salvaged. You will BEAT these stay at home mom problems. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and begin your journey through the various levels of parenting desperation.
