Mom Humor

Levels of Parenting Emergencies

When the babies were little, we used to take them on these “playdates” with our MomSquad. We’d pick a destination like the nature center or storytime, but what we really wanted was the companionship. And the desire to feel like we were doing something with the babies, because honestly, what are you even supposed to do with a kid that can’t even talk or move on their own yet?

So we’d lay them on the blankets and chit chat about our lives. We only had one veteran mama in our midst at the time, and she casually mentioned that the hardest part about parenting two was that you had to ignore one of your children from time to time.

What she meant, of course, is that one child’s small needs have to take a backseat to the other child’s BIG needs once in a while. Another mama literally put her hand to her mouth in horror. “I don’t care how many kids I have, I would never IGNORE one of my children.”

Spoiler alert: you would. You absolutely would.

Because when you’ve got two or more kids, the concept of “emergency” can take on a whole new meaning.  And when faced with aa parenting emergency, you HAVE to favor the squeaky wheel. Because the squeaky wheel may be bleeding. Or trying to poop in a potted plant.

Oh, come on, like that hasn’t happened to you.

At any rate, when you’ve got more than one kid, there’s a whole new hierarchy of what needs to be prioritized. We’ve got the Levels of Parenting Emergencies below, ranked from most severe to “meh.”

You think you know what counts as an emergency...until you become a mom. A little #momlife humor from TheSaltyMamas.com. #momlife #humor #funny #parentinghumor #parenting #hilarious #momoftwo #boymom #twokids #tipsfortwokids Continue reading “Levels of Parenting Emergencies”

Mama Loves a Party, Mom Humor

5 Steps to Planning a Kid’s Birthday Party

Sunday is my son’s 5th birthday party, and as I sit here completely and totally ready taking a short break from the final scramble, I can’t help but reflect on the journey it took to get to this point. I’m literally an event planner by trade, so I had it in my head that I was cut out for this whole party planning thing. I mean, if I can organize 5K fundraising walks for thousands of people and galas that need to raise a million dollars, then surely I can successfully execute one kid’s party right?

Wrong.

All the moody volunteer committees couldn’t prepare me for dealing with one surly 4 year old. The requests – nay demands – like real live unicorns – are out of this world. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here are the 5 steps you must follow to have a successful birthday party!

Planning a kid's birthday party is no joke. Luckily there are five easy - and hysterical - steps to nailing any party! Check them out from The Salty Mamas! #partyplanning #kidsbirthday #kidsbirthdayparty #momlife #momhumor #momlifehumor #5thbirthdayparty #4thbirthdayparty #3rdbirthdayparty #2ndbirthdayparty #1stbirthdayparty #firstbirthday #kidpartytheme #kidsbirthdaytheme #kidspartyplanning #howtoplanaparty #whatshouldIhaveatmykidsparty #partyplanninghelp #partyplanningideas #partyplanninginfulleffect #partyplanningmama

Continue reading “5 Steps to Planning a Kid’s Birthday Party”

Mom Humor

Laugh Your Way Through the 10 Levels of Parenting Desperation

Being home with my kids is a blessing.  I know it. Most days, I’m grateful. Most days are fantastic. And then there are those OTHER days. The days where you’re bored, and the kids are bored, and everyone is just a little bit off. The fact that the day is SUPPOSED to be a blessing somehow makes the whole thing worse, and you find yourself with a case of the Mondays on a Wednesday morning.  The toddler schedule isn’t working, you’re not the fun and funny mom you usually are, and you’re questioning your ability to actually parent these tiny little monsters. You start to spiral, and then decide that, come Hell or high water, this day will be salvaged. You will BEAT these stay at home mom problems. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and begin your journey through the various levels of parenting desperation.

Looking for a way to turn your bad day around? Come laugh through the 10 levels of Parenting Desperation with the funny mom behind TheSaltyMamas.com. Continue reading “Laugh Your Way Through the 10 Levels of Parenting Desperation”

Mom Humor, momlife

Mother’s Day Fantasy vs. Mother’s Day Reality

I’ve got a Mother’s Day hangover. And not the good kind that implies that I spent the entire day relaxing and drinking too much champagne. No, I’ve got the kind where I find myself asking, “What happened yesterday??” Now, I’m not the kind of person that traditionally builds up holidays. I’ve never had high expectations for a life changing New Year’s Eve. I’ve never thought that Valentine’s Day was going to be the most romantic day of the year. But somewhere along the line I saw one too many Mother’s Day commercials with happy kids showering their Moms with love, crafts, coffee and breakfast – even if it was poorly, yet comically, made with egg shells hidden in the omelet.

That was not my Mother’s Day. And as I scrolled through Facebook, I started to think maybe I was the only Mom that didn’t have that picture perfect Mother’s Day….crafts everywhere, Moms thanking their families for the outpouring of love, and me feeling more and more empty. Then I remembered I was on Facebook and decided to go to Twitter, where complaining is more accepted. And I found my people.

But you might be my people too. So here’s what I fantasized for Mother’s Day, and how my day differed dramatically.

What happens when your Mother's Day Fantasies just don't happen?

Continue reading “Mother’s Day Fantasy vs. Mother’s Day Reality”

Mom Humor, They Said WHAT?, Why We're Salty

MORE Open Letters to the People That Make Us Salty

As Moms (and Dads) sometimes we are shocked by the things that people think it’s okay to say – and do – us. Unfortunately, due to our broken #mombrains, we don’t always come up with the perfect response in the moment. So instead, we write anonymous passive aggressive lighthearted letters full of mom humor to the people that have wronged us. Yes, I’m talking about more letters to even more people that made us downright salty. Did you miss Part One? Make sure to check it out here and then come back to virtually punch some people in the face with me. As always, let us know who you’d add in the comments!

Continue reading “MORE Open Letters to the People That Make Us Salty”