Momlife is hard. It’s exhausting. And, let’s face it, it’s not glamorous. But the good news is that whatever wacky thing happened to you today, there’s a Mom that has been there. And she’s probably on Twitter complaining about it. So here to make you feel a little bit better about your situation are these super relatable #Momlife tweets.
Okay, okay hear- me out. I’m not a total MONSTER. I don’t actually WANT babies to cry. But let’s face it, ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to make a baby cry. Actually, the mere fact of trying to get a baby to STOP crying will probably show you a million more ways to make them cry in the first place.
I think we have this idea as mothers- especially new mothers- that babies aren’t supposed to cry much. We’ve been trained to think that crying means something is wrong, and that it is our job to figure out and fix said thing, in order to get a baby to stop crying.
But if you’ve spent any amount of time with a newborn, you know there are other factors at play. Sometimes, despite our best of intentions and most tender loving care, we figure out how to make a baby cry- the hard way.
So for your reading pleasure, here are 10 ways to make a baby cry.
The best way to get through the holidays is to laugh at other parents’ misfortune. So we pulled together 25 hilarious holiday tweets to keep you going – and help you remember that we’re all just suffering through until December 26.
Unless your kids are getting toys that make lots and lots of noise. Then the suffering is never-ending my friend.
So happy holidays to all the Salty Mamas and Papas that do it anyway because we love these little stinkers.
Do you find yourself with a flurry of Holiday MomProblems on your hands this season? Between the Elf on the Shelf and the million gifts to buy, moms are finding that they are SLAMMED. The to-do list is never ending, and the requests to make more and more commitments seem like they’re never going to stop.
Between the Elf on the Shelf and the school functions, the gifts to purchase and then to wrap, and the endless amounts of cooking and baking that go on, you’re likely feeling as stressed as we are.
But never fear- you’re not alone. The Salty Mamas have been there and done that with pretty much all of the Holiday MomProblems you have. In no particular order, here are the things that are driving us crazy this holiday season.
Arguably one of the worst things about kids is that many of them have an irrational hatred for sleep. The worst part of parenting is navigating all of the things that mess up our kids already delicate sleep cycles: teething, climate change. But the greatest of these is Daylight Saving Time. We here at The Salty Mamas firmly believe in keeping it real, so we won’t lie to you. Dealing with the time change is going to SUCK. BUT, there are a few things you might be able to do to help cope with the double trouble of kids and Daylight Saving Time.
Good luck, and we’re pulling for you.
We love going to open gym with the kids. We love the energy our kids get our running and jumping and tumbling. We love watching our kids learn balance on the beam and strength on the bars. However, we do not always love that some people take the “open” part of open gym a little too far. With dozens of kids running around, it can turn a little Lord of the Flies real quickly without parents being involved. And while we’re generally team “Let the Kids Explore and be Kids” there are just too many kids at an open tumbling session for us to stick to this. To keep some order, we submit to you the unwritten rules of open gym:
If you have kids, you are NO stranger to all the crazy reasons that they’ll throw a fit. And yet, no matter how many tantrums you’ve witnessed, you’ll never stop being amazed at the things kids can freak out over. So we scoured Twitter for some of the funniest, craziest, most ludicrous reasons kids cry. Then, we asked our followers – Why did your kids cry?
Here’s what they told us!
You’re in the home stretch of bedtime. Your kids have been bathed. Their teeth are brushed, their jammies are on, and only a bedtime story stands between you and two hours of sweet freedom. You settle down into your kid’s bed, and ask your child to choose the book they want to read tonight.
And then it happens.
Your child brings you – that book. One of the world’s WORST children’s books.
You beg them to choose another- “what about one of the new ones from the library?” or “I’ll read you a whole chapter of Harry Potter!”- but they simply won’t be swayed. You’re going to have to do it. You’re going to have to read a kids’ book that you HATE.
And the odds are? It’s one of these six. Read on for the worst children’s books- the ones we simply can’t STAND to read.
The kids are going back to school, and we’re having all the feelings about it. But at least we can take to Twitter to know that we are not alone. Check out these sometimes hilarious, sometimes kicks you in the feels, but always keepin’ it real, back to school tweets.
Well when you put it that way….
Everybody wants their kids to go back to school, until they’re stranded on the toilet without toilet paper and no one’s around to grab a new roll.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) August 17, 2018
It’s important to know the rules.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) August 20, 2017
Does the playground count?
Just when I think I have this parenting thing down, my 9 y/o daughter looks at me while back to school shopping and whispers “Mommy, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” #momlife
— Anna Zap (@AnnaZapOnAir) August 18, 2018
Back to school Murphy’s Law SUCKS
— Treehousethreadsblog (@treehouseblog) August 18, 2018
Teachers are so magical
*observing my daughter in preschool*
Me: Ok, but how do you get her to just sit there and listen?
Teacher: We practice patience and teach them to do the same.
Me: Right, right. But, like, what bribes are you using?
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) August 6, 2018
A different kind of sniffles
Told my stepdaughter she could only pick one dress for her first day of school look and she stormed off in a huff so I’m over here in Kohl’s rage sniffing autumn candles if you need me. #momlife #parenting #kohls #momsquad #dadlife
— Marissa ? (@natsmama75) August 18, 2018
Now THAT’S early childhood education
So my 3yo came home from her new preschool saying “save the issues for your tissues.”
So yeah, we’re really happy to see our money is so well spent on these kinds of life lessons.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 17, 2018
Let the conversations begin!
Conversations with my kids during the school year:
Kids at breakfast: meh
Kids on the way to school: bleh
Kids after school: unh
Kids at dinner: ergh
Kids at bedtime: LET ME DESCRIBE THE LAST 7 YEARS OF MY LIFE IN DETAIL—IT BEGAN IN YOUR WOMB IN THE SUMMER OF 2010…
— Miranda Asebedo (@MirandaWriteNow) August 16, 2018
Friendly parenting advice: Don’t start any elaborate and adorable 1st day of school traditions for your first kid you won’t be able to keep up for the rest of the kids.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) August 20, 2018
If thinking this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right….
Am I wrong to expect mimosas at this 9:15am meeting at my child school? It does say on the announcement “do not bring children if possible”. So in my opinion it would be very misleading if no alcohol is served as we prepare our children for Kindergarten.
— Mommin’ All Day Every Day (@DayMommin) August 17, 2018
I just found my spirit animal.
my 7yo has been living in her robe and saying “pants are overrated” so going back to school in two weeks will be fun
— nicole tersigni (@nicsigni) August 20, 2018
It’s never too early for all the feelings.
All these first day of school posts already got me ? thinking about my son’s first day… which won’t happen for 3 more years ? #momlife
— Bekah Roberts (@sincerelybeks) August 20, 2018
May we all be so brave.
In case you were wondering if I was a wreck dropping off The Boy for his first day of middle school today, I WAS NOT. I unceremoniously told him to get out of the car and didn’t start getting teary until I was more than 5 miles away. #MomLife
— E.M. Caines (@EMCaines) August 16, 2018
Take pictures of your kids each year on the first day of school.
— Micah (@ParentalGrit) August 13, 2018
Back to school shopping just got REAL
my kids’ back-to-school shopping list
8 reams of paper
76 packs of kleenex
a box of unworn britney spears concert t-shirts
a black tesla with off-burgundy interior
2 baby mastodons
the original copy of the declaration of independence
— MillerCycle (@millercycle) August 15, 2018
Because of course he did…
My kids have been fighting like cats and dogs all summer. It’s 10:30 am on the first day of school, and my son is asking when we can go pick up his sister. ??♀️ #Firstdayofschool2018 #siblings #momlife #lifewithkids
— Gabby Cullen (@gabbycullen) August 20, 2018
Got it, got it, got it – DON’T got it!
Just dropped off the 4 year old for his first day of preschool. I’m holding it together.
*flips open writing notebook*
*sees page where he practiced writing his name*
I am NOT holding it together.???
— Rebecca Frohling (@chipmunkofpower) August 20, 2018
Hi, my name is what?
Today was my kids’ first day of school ever. They were previously homeschooled. I asked my son if he made friends at school. He said he did. I asked what their names were. He responded:
— Stephenie Peterson (@NellieNovaBook) August 15, 2018
— Dad with a Beer (@DadWithABeer) August 14, 2018
Wait, we have to do this AGAIN?
— Tabitha Newton (@TabithaNewton23) August 15, 2018
Nothing strikes as much fear into the heart of a toddler mama like two simple words can. Did you guess it? No, not “Uh Oh.” (Although YES. So much yes.) But if you’ve got a kid in the two to three year old range (and particularly if that kid is a boy), I bet you could guess it pretty quickly- Potty. Training.
The internet abounds with tons of amazing tips for potty training a two year old quickly. But then there are the OTHER potty training tips. The tips unlikely to show up in any other Pinterest feature. And, OH do we ever have your back on that front.
For your reading pleasure- a little potty training humor from the dark (and dirty) side of toilet training.