There are things parents say all the time. “Do you have to go potty?” “Be a big girl,” and “You’re getting so big!” But try saying that to a grown up sometime, and we can assure you- it’s not going to end well!
It’s way too easy to get in the little-kid-talk mode. We have all kinds of momisms that we use on a very regular basis.
In fact, it sometimes seems like we have the same 5-10 phrases on repeat in our house all day, every day.
So it’s only natural that these would come out of your mouth even outside of the house. With VERY different results.
Here are 8 things parents say all the time to their kids, along with the cringe-worthy (but hilarious) results if you said these things to an adult instead.
This post may contain affiliate links. As Amazon Associates, we may earn a commission from qualifying purchases. You can read more at our disclosures page. Thanks!
You’re Getting Too Heavy
This one is usually said to a five year old when she is demanding to be carried on the half mile trek to the car. You’re both sweaty, you tried to carry her half the way, and you are just done.
Despite her emotional pleas, you let her know that she’s getting to heavy, and that you have no choice but to put her down.
But try saying those same exact words to your best friend, and you’re gonna find yourself with a Vanderpump Rules like meltdown before you know it.
Where Did This Glitter Come From?
There is no terror like walking into your child’s room and finding a pile of glitter on the floor- or, God forbid, in their bed.
Not only are you going to have to clean it up immediately, but you’re likely going to be dealing with the consequences of this glitter spill for years to come. It’s gonna be in your hair. It’s gonna be in your washing machine.
You’re going to be finding random speckles of glitter for WEEKS.
But if you find the need to say this to your man…well, let’s just say you’ve got bigger problems than a crafting catastrophe.
Like, where have you BEEN, husband? And do I even want to know??
Do You Have to Go Potty?
You’ve seen your kids do it a million times. All of a sudden their hands find their way to their pants one too often. Or they suddenly start doing “The Dance.” Maybe they start standing real still, and you know they CAN’T MOVE.
But we know you’ve also seen a dude “adjusting” his crotch once too often. Or a mom doing an indiscreet wiggle.
Resist the urge to ask if they need to go potty. They may be exhibiting all of the telltale signs, but we’re supposed to PRETEND we don’t see it.
My, How You’ve Grown!
When we tell kids that they’ve grown, there are SUCH positive connotations. They’re getting taller, they’re getting older, or more mature.
With adults, it could only mean one thing- you’ve noticed an increase in the size of their waistline. You’ll find quickly that it’s not so much a compliment, and more of an accusation.
What Are You Going to be When You Grow Up?
We have no problem busting into little kids’ business like this. As if at 5 years old they’re supposed to have it all figured out already.
It’s actually some adults’ favorite form of small talk with little kids. You can find out a lot about their interests (and it’s ALWAYS adorable when they say they’re going to be a Princess Doctor or the Ice Cream Truck Driver).
Now turn to the mom next to you at Kindergarten Drop Off and ask her what she’s going to be when she grows up.
You’ll likely trigger an onslought of tears, as well as the potential for a midlife crisis.
Act Like A Big Girl
When your 8 year old baby talks (I mean, YIKES), you have no choice but to remiind her that she’s a big girl, and that she should act accordingly.
But when the moms start to get mouthy at the PTA meeting, it’s less appropriate to remind them to act like a Big Girl.
(Even thought they should DEFINITELY have that down by now.)
We have no issue putting our kids into check. That tone? How you keep complaining about the SAME THING over and over?
Let’s be honest- it’s annoying. So we call them out.
Well, it turns out it’s not super socially acceptable to turn to the woman next to you at school pickup and tell her to “stop whining” or “why don’t you do something about it, then.”
Ask me how I know.
Go Ask Dad
When I’m in the zone for work, or when I’m just SO OVER taking care of the kids’ daily needs, I’ll often send them along with the classic phrase: Go ask dad.
Every responsibility doesn’t need to be mine, and the kids need to learn that my husband is just as capable as getting them a glass of water as I am.
But when the room mom comes along with the party sign up list, “Go ask dad” probably shouldn’t be the first thing that comes out of my mouth.
Actually, you know what? Yes it should. He’s their parent too, after all, and a very capable one. Time to put “Go ask dad” in my regular rotation with the grown ups, too.
So yeah, it’s a bit of a rough transition from hanging around littles all the time to grown ups. You’ll have to watch yourself before you ask the principal if he needs to go potty, or bring the PTA to task.
Actually you know what? Go ahead and call them out. The whole world these days looks like it could use a little more parenting. You know I’m right.
Looking for more parenting humor? Head here next-