Self Care for Moms

How to be More Than “Mom” in 2019

Last weekend, we loaded up the kids and drove for a little over an hour to get together with my husband’s family. A five minute car ride can be rife with frustration, so an hour with three kids in the backseat can be an absolute disaster. When I got out of the car, I was asked by my sister in law how my drive was. Out of habit I responded in terms of the kids. “Izzie slept most of the way. Cole and Evie fought a bit, but then played nicely the second half of the trip.” She smiled politely before saying, “That’s nice, but I want to know how the trip was for you.”

I paused for a minute, unsure how to proceed. I’ve become so accustomed to my experience being dependent on everyone else that I didn’t even hear the question in terms of me. My kids day impacts how my day was. My husbands day at work can affect my night at home. But somewhere along the lines I have my own experiences and opinions and I need to remember to honor that.

After blinking in stunned silence for a minute, I responded to her actual question. “I had a nice drive. Chad and I talked about some things and I got to read a book for a while.” The exchange was unnatural for me. I realized that it shouldn’t be unnatural to tell someone about an experience I had. I spent the rest of the day very aware of the questions I was asked, and how I answered them.

We often complain that we lose ourselves and just take on the role of “Mom” – which is true. But I find myself accepting that role and not questioning it when I could be making sure people see me as more than that. This year, I want to talk to other women. I want to talk about them. Yes, I’ll talk about them as Moms, but I want to help them find value somewhere else as well.

Here’s my plan for 2019.

Sometimes we get lost in being Mom. Here are tips on how to be YOU in 2019. #newyears #newyears2019 #newyearsresolution #newyearnewme #resolutions2019 #goals #selfcare #metime #puttingmefirst #beingMom #justMom #beingmorethanMom

Continue reading “How to be More Than “Mom” in 2019″

Mama Mojo, momlife, parenting, Tips & Hacks

How to Be Less Busy This Year

Kids are busy.

I know, I know, understatement off the year. Not only are they just busy little people, but then they do all the things! Sports, school events, and the birthday parties. Holy God the birthday parties! And if you have more than one kid, it just gets exponentially more insane.

If you don’t watch out, you can become completely overwhelmed,  discombobulated and burned out. Weekends that you used to spend as a family or getting stuff done become a complicated dance of getting the right people to the right places and I lose any sense of recharge that I strive for on those two special days. 

Meanwhile, all you want to know is how to be less busy so you can enjoy life again.

Unfortunately, the week isn’t much better. After a few consecutive weeks of….  

*phone rings*

Me: Hey Mom.

Mom: Hi honey, whatcha doing? Driving to swim?

Me: Nope, but I should be! Gotta go!

Mom: You forgot agai-

*click*

…I realized that I was overbooked. I was forgetting an appointment I’ve had on the books for years, so who knows what else I didn’t show up to!?! So rather than get a new planner, cover my refrigerator in reminders or scold myself, I took stock of our activities. I prioritized. And I decided that figuring out how to be less busy was at the top of my priority list. Because we just couldn’t go on like this. 

We all have the rest of our lives to be busy and I couldn’t justify running my kids around from place to place. For what? T-ball isn’t going to get him into the Majors, music class isn’t going to make him the next Beethoven, and all of it costs more than just playing in the dirt. Which is basically his four year old dream come true. The same goes for the three year old. And the one year old.

So I cancelled everything except swim lessons. And preschool 3 days a week for the bigs. Because we have a pool and my kids need to know how to swim, and we have a lot of kids and Mommy needs a break for 4 hours once in a while.

And it is SO freeing.

Because the truth is, we aren’t inherently busy. We are choosing to be busy. We want our kids to have every opportunity and all the experiences and not miss a single thing we can afford them. We foist on them our sense of FOMO before they even recognize the letters F, O and M. We sign them up for all the classes because we want to expose them to everything because someday it might be their passion. We fill our calendar so we’ll have things on the books because an empty week can be terrifying (at least for me it is!) We go to every single birthday party because they’re at a great place and the kids will have fun and we love our friends. But it’s just.too.much. And WE are the ones with the power to stop it.

So as you come down from your busy-because-it’s-the-holidays hangover and are thinking about your New Year’s Resolutions, this about being less busy. Because you can be. All you have to do is choose it.

#newyears #newyearsresolutions #resolutions #selfcare #sayNO #No #FOMO #busy #momlife #parenting
How saying NO to all our obligations made me a better – and happier – parent!
Holidays, Mama Mojo, momlife, parenting, They Said WHAT?

New Year’s Resolution: Drop the Just

One of the hallmarks of any small talk situation is the standard question, “So, what do you do for a living?

It used to be a question I was really comfortable with. I was always so proud of my answers. Whether I was “bartending my way through grad school,” “being a teacher’s assistant and leading my own classes at Cal State Long Beach,” or “working in fundraising for a non-profit” I always felt like I was doing something good. Something important. Continue reading “New Year’s Resolution: Drop the Just”