New Year’s Resolution: Drop the Just

One of the hallmarks of any small talk situation is the standard question, “So, what do you do for a living?

It used to be a question I was really comfortable with. I was always so proud of my answers. Whether I was “bartending my way through grad school,” “being a teacher’s assistant and leading my own classes at Cal State Long Beach,” or “working in fundraising for a non-profit” I always felt like I was doing something good. Something important.

I lost my job a few days after finding out I was pregnant with our first child and along with losing my job, I lost a HUGE part of my identity. We spent a lot of time discussing what I was going to do next. We wanted me to be a stay at home Mom for a couple of years, and were lucky enough to be able to have that as a viable option, so I felt it would be inappropriate to try to get a job during the pregnancy. So the transition happened a little earlier than we planned, and I was quickly launched into the stay at home life. And I felt completely untethered. Unproductive. Unsuccessful.

After our son was born, when I’d meet a new person I’d always have to face that question, “What do you do for a living?” Without knowing what I was doing, I’d always answer the same way, “I just stay at home with the baby.” I was met with a variety of responses ranging from sad looks at how pathetic my life must be to people that I should have listened to that would push back, “Hey, that’s the most important job in the world.” I nodded, would even voice some agreement, but I always felt like a fraud.

My previous job had been raising money to cure cancer.

Now I was changing diapers and playing peek-a-boo.

So yeah, it felt like I was “just” being a stay at home Mom.

Over the years, I added more kids to the house. I moved from peek-a-boo to crafts and coloring and pretend play. But still….there are parts of me that still feel the “just.” I want to be a stay at home Mom. I know in my heart that it’s what I want for my children. And I want desperately to find a way to let go of the “just.”

So today, I ban “just” from my vocabulary.

I’m not “just” a stay at home Mom. I’m a stay at home Mom. I’ll say it with the same pride I had when I talked about my non-profit work. I’ll beam with same sense of success that I had when I’d hit major goals at an event. I’ll allow in public to show the sense of importance that I feel about what I’m doing in private.

Because there’s nothing “just” about this job.

#newyearsresolution #newyears #2018 #resolutions #selfcare #momlife
You are SO much more than “JUST” a Mom, so check out why we’re banning it from our vocabulary in 2018!

8 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolution: Drop the Just”

  1. Yes, lady!! We all need to get away from “just.” I’m “just XYZ”, or I’m “just following up on…” Nope, unnecessary word. You are XYZ. You are following up on that email because it needs to be answered. I’m in career services and we talk about this a lot with our students, it’s like inserting an apology where it isn’t needed. Here’s to a killer 2018!

  2. Oh, I absolutely LOVED this post! It resonated so much with me. Our jobs as Stay-at-Home Moms are every bit as important as any other job we have done. Yes, I also have felt like a part of my identity was lost after I left my job. Like I didn’t have anything to exercise the adult part of my brain. That I was wasting my Master’s Degree. But, I agree! There is absolutely NOTHING about being home that is “just.” It is important. It is SO challenging. In many ways, it is much harder than my job outside the home ever was. And I love it! No more “just!”

  3. I LOVED this post! It resonated greatly with me! When I left my job to stay home, I did feel a part of my identity got lost. I felt like I was wasting my Master’s Degree and not using my adult brain. However, I LOVE being home with my kids. You’re right, there is no “just” about it. Raising my kids at home is in many ways harder than my job outside the home ever was. Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is challenging, but also so rewarding! No more “just!”

  4. Totally with you here. Expect to see a similar blog from me soon, lol. I used to be so secure in what I was doing and now I HATE this question because I’m all weird when I answer it. (due to my own previous stupid judgey opinions) But I am working on embracing it and sounding confident with my answer!

  5. the word Just can cause so many issues. I don’t like hearing, “I’m just a mum, just a blogger. Just is a dumb word.

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