Mama Mojo

How to be More Than “Mom” in 2019

Last weekend, we loaded up the kids and drove for a little over an hour to get together with my husband’s family. A five minute car ride can be rife with frustration, so an hour with three kids in the backseat can be an absolute disaster. When I got out of the car, I was asked by my sister in law how my drive was. Out of habit I responded in terms of the kids. “Izzie slept most of the way. Cole and Evie fought a bit, but then played nicely the second half of the trip.” She smiled politely before saying, “That’s nice, but I want to know how the trip was for you.”

I paused for a minute, unsure how to proceed. I’ve become so accustomed to my experience being dependent on everyone else that I didn’t even hear the question in terms of me. My kids day impacts how my day was. My husbands day at work can affect my night at home. But somewhere along the lines I have my own experiences and opinions and I need to remember to honor that.

After blinking in stunned silence for a minute, I responded to her actual question. “I had a nice drive. Chad and I talked about some things and I got to read a book for a while.” The exchange was unnatural for me. I realized that it shouldn’t be unnatural to tell someone about an experience I had. I spent the rest of the day very aware of the questions I was asked, and how I answered them.

We often complain that we lose ourselves and just take on the role of “Mom” – which is true. But I find myself accepting that role and not questioning it when I could be making sure people see me as more than that. This year, I want to talk to other women. I want to talk about them. Yes, I’ll talk about them as Moms, but I want to help them find value somewhere else as well.

Here’s my plan for 2019.

Sometimes we get lost in being Mom. Here are tips on how to be YOU in 2019. #newyears #newyears2019 #newyearsresolution #newyearnewme #resolutions2019 #goals #selfcare #metime #puttingmefirst #beingMom #justMom #beingmorethanMom

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Cleaning, Married with Children, The Daddys

What I Learned About Myself During Spring Cleaning

Every once in a while, my husband gets it in his mind that we can’t possibly go one day longer without getting rid of some stuff. A lot of stuff. All the stuff. We go to Costco and come home with bins and bins and shelving to hold the bins and off we go. I mentally prepare, grab trash bags for what we’ll toss, the bins for what we’ll keep, and have dollar signs in my eyes for the stuff I’m going to sell. 

I start in the kids rooms and secretly clear out some old toys, because Lord knows they won’t miss them. Then I retire the clothes that they’ve grown out of. Planning to have more kids, I get to keep all their clothes without much argument. Chad is great about getting rid of clothes. He sometimes goes TOO far in my mind, deciding that he only needs five t-shirts, one sweater, two casual polo shirts and one suit. Then I remind him about all the other times he might want to be dressed and we find a happy medium.

Then there’s me. And my bureau. And my walk in closet. And my bins of extras. In truth, I wear about one tenth of what’s easily accessible. And, walking Mom cliché that I am, it’s lots of leggings and casual shirts. My closet features lots of things with names you may recognize like Irma and Randy….but the rest hangs unworn, though not unloved. What transpires next is always like an episode of hoarders. Continue reading “What I Learned About Myself During Spring Cleaning”

koefoe party of 5, Married with Children, momlife, parenting, The Daddys

Work Trip Martyr

This morning, I got up early, hunted around the house for clean socks and underwear and jeans, and helped pack up my husband for a work trip. I loaded the kids in the car, drove him to the airport, watched tearful goodbyes from the kids and drove home with cries of “I miss Daddy” ringing in my ears. He’ll be back in three days, but for these kids, three days might as well be three weeks. They should be used to this. They should understand the routine. Daddy has to travel at least every other month or so and has since they were born. But still, they take it hard. And so do I. At least…some of the time

But can I be honest with you for a minute? It’s not ALL bad….

The reality is, I’m parenting alone from about 6am to 6pm anyway. The kids go to bed by 8:30 at the absolute latest. So yes, while having help during those couple hours a night is hugely helpful, the net gains aren’t too shabby. Continue reading “Work Trip Martyr”

MicroLuxuries, momlife

Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Coffee?

Hi, my name is Jaymi, and I am addicted to caffeine.

I first discovered my problem a few months ago. We ditched the kids and went away to a wedding, and had the best time ever. We were surrounded by people we’ve been friends with for decades, and it was absolutely amazing to get to do all the adult things I wanted, whenever I wanted to. Tops on my list? Hot coffee. And lots of it. Isn’t that every mom’s dream?

Continue reading “Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Coffee?”