Hi, my name is Jaymi, and I am addicted to caffeine.
I first discovered my problem a few months ago. We ditched the kids and went away to a wedding, and had the best time ever. We were surrounded by people we’ve been friends with for decades, and it was absolutely amazing to get to do all the adult things I wanted, whenever I wanted to. Tops on my list? Hot coffee. And lots of it. Isn’t that every mom’s dream?
We meandered down to this adorable little bakery and I told the lady, as I am apt to do, that I wanted a hot coffee the size of my head. And she gave me the biggest cup, and pointed me in the direction of the self-serve, and I emptied that sucker into my cup. Like, literally emptied it. And then I ate my delicious pastry, and refilled it. And refilled it one more time, emptying the giant coffee dispenser again.
And thought nothing of it, because I’m a mom, and everyone knows moms drink all the coffee. Except then my friends started teasing me about it. And I laugh it off, and I’m like, “You guys drink coffee too!” And they tell me, “Lady, we did not empty those two giant carafes. You did.”
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“But!” I tell myself. “But their kids are older! They are getting more sleep than I am! I shall ask my mommy friends, the ones with two or three kids under five. THEY know my struggle.” After all, we talk about coffee non-stop. So I know they’re with me.
Not so, my friends.
I make a quick survey asking my momsquad to give it to me in ounces, their daily intake.
“One twelve ounce cup in the mornings.”
“Sometimes a latte in the afternoon.”
“Once in a while I drink two cups in the morning, but usually one.”
What. The. Hell.
On average, those coffee-obsessed broads are drinking between 12 and 20 ounces a day. While I’m putting away 50. But because I hear about coffee nonstop, and I’m not that vocal about it, I always assumed whatever I was doing was normal. Coffee isn’t even “My Thing.” It’s our cousin Daniel’s, who we sometimes call “coffeecoffeecoffee,” or my friend Courtney’s, who posts about coffee on her Facebook page about once a week. The ones who are constantly waxing poetic about their daily joe.
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There are millions of memes, images, dialogues about coffee. There are shirts emblazoned with “All I Need is Mascara and Caffeine,” and mugs saying, “Heart, Hustle, and Coffee” (okay, that’s my mug, and I made it. But still).
We’re smack dab in the middle of a culture that has us celebrating coffee, glorifying coffee, and making it a primary topic of conversation in mom circles everywhere. It’s a thing now. Moms. Love. Coffee. So when my one cup became two became three became five, I honest to God went full-teenaged, “Well everyone is doing it.”
Again. Not so, my friends.
So now here I am, wondering whether I should take this newfound knowledge, own it, and celebrate it. Give zero effs. Or Google it and see what Dr. Internet says? (4 cups a day is fine, in case you’re wondering.)
Maybe I scale down my use a bit, see how it goes, in a moderation-is-everything approach. Or do I take this new information and use it to find a program, and get myself some help? I feel like it’s gonna take a bit more than the Serenity Prayer to get me through a day with these little monsters, but hey, it’s worth a shot.
Of espresso, that is. Obviously.
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I don’t know what’s normal, but I’m with you. My typical day includes one giant thermos of coffee and 3-4 cups throughout the work day. I say drink as much coffee as you can before your teeth start vibrating!
You are my favorite person of the day for this. Going to go make myself a cup immediately 😉
I used to drink 4-5 cups of a day! I switched to tea two years ago, but I still love the smell of it!
Right? There’s something about the smell that just perks you right up! I’m impressed with your ability to cut it out. Like, SUPER impressed. Good for you!
I love coffee. It’s not for refreshment or for keeping me awake. It is its smell and taste that drives me crazy. I really need it to stay sane.
I unfortunately can’t have caffeine. It bothers me. But this sleep-deprived mama could really use some!
I’m not a huge coffee drinker (The Mister is though). Love the smell of it :). I don’t think you can have too much coffee. Not, an expert though, LOL
Your post always make me laugh! There can never be too much coffee
I wasn’t a coffee drinker until I had kids. Some days I am okay with one 8oz cup. Other days I need 3. There is no such thing as a limit ! Lol!
50 ounces of coffee sounds like a lot! But, I’m a one-cup per day max drinker. That so, this totally cracked me up. Coffee on, girl!
I loveeee coffee. Not only love it but need to have it everyday. My max is 3 BIG cups though, anymore than that and I start to get the shakes. LOL! I say if it works for you, get coffee drunk all day! Haha
I am also all about the coffee (former barista after all). As long as you aren’t getting the jitters or major headaches when you don’t have any, I say you are fine!
I find myself drinking more and more coffee as I age. I have noticed if I drink it too late I wake up feeling as if I had been out drinking all night long
You could never have too much coffee! I have about 3 cups a day. It also depends if I’m working. But I absolutely love it!
I’m a little bit into coffee, as well. 😉 I don’t think there’s such a thing as too much. It’s good for the soul, in my case.
I’m pretty sure there’s days where I’m drinking coffee all day long. I’m curious how much I put down in a day. It’s so good, and helps me get so much done!