If there’s one things Moms hate, it’s unsolicited advice from people that aren’t particularly helpful. Because everyone has an opinion and is more than happy to offer their advice for Moms. But that’s not to say that all advice is bad. In fact, one of the best things you can do as a new Mom is start building your roster of other Moms you can go to for help. Because you will have questions – so. many. questions. And sometimes you need a very specific type of answer.
Here are the nine different types of Mom friends you need to have on deck for when you need advice.
The Well Researched Mom
While your parenting books were gathering dust, this Mama was reading each and every page. Of every single book. She knew what to expect when she was expecting, she knows when every Wonder Week is going to hit, and yes, she is Babywise. And since she’s your friend, she’s happy to lend you any of them! Want your baby to Sleepeasy? She’s literally got the solution. Wondering where to find the best baby food recipes? She’s got a Pinterest board for you and some related articles you might want to read.
But the best part? She can also be your walking, talking, Cliff’s Notes because she knows her stuff.
The Old School Mom
Yes, cutting edge information is good – and you might not want to go to this Mom for say, carseat advice (because they may not have even used them!) But sometimes we also overthink and over research things. This Mom might have some really useful old school techniques that haven’t hit Pinterest yet! And while we’re caught up in making sure our kids can practically read before they’re even in Kindergarten, the old school Mom can tell you about ways that she let’s her kid fail and how it helps build character and responsibility. She can help set free a helicopter Mom and assure her it’s going to be okay.
It doesn’t mean this Mom is relaxed though! Old school Moms will go to bat for their kids, and teach some valuable life lessons along the way.
The Hella Relaxed Mom
If you’re a little, um…..uptight? You especially want to find one of these. The yin to your yang. The person that tells you not to worry about it if you tend to worry about everything. There are times that you know deep down, you’re probably overthinking. This is a good time to go to this Mom. If you’ve got a nagging feeling you’re going overboard, you just might be. But you also might need to hear it from someone else to give yourself permission to let go.
And we can admit she probably needs you too for those reminders that some things are hella serious, and she can’t be relaxed all the time.
The Medical Mom
Do you have a Mom friend that also happens to be a nurse? No? Go find one NOW. Put an ad on Craigslist if you have too. Because Dr. Google is scary AF and you need someone you can call when you’re starting to worry that you’re annoying the pediatrician.
God bless our friend Daniella who has gotten text messages from Hawaii about cough medicine dosages, given us tips on how to reduce fevers faster than you can say “nurses call line” and received more pictures of mystery rashes than I want to count. But she’s saved us SO. many. unnecessary trips to the doctors office. Which we – and probably our pediatricians – appreciate.
Of course, you can’t have this Mom in lieu of your own doctor, but this Mom will also know right away when it’s time to head to the ER, urgent care, or at least call to get an appointment tomorrow. And she’s SO much less terrifying than the internet.
The Tells You What You Want to Hear Mom
Admit it, sometimes you say you want advice, but what you really want is for someone to give you the answer you want. It’s not so much advice, and more validation you seek. And that’s totally cool. Being a Mom is so full of self-doubt and questioning every single thing you do, that it’s nice to hear that the way you were doing things already is the “right” way. Or that there’s nothing else you can do and that yes, sometimes this sucks.
So find the friend that can be that for you. The friend that will be your cheerleader and give you a hug and say, You got this on your own! She’s a great friend to have.
The Tells You What you NEED to hear Mom
But there’s another great friend you need. And that’s the friend that tells you what you need to hear. The one who you let give it to you straight. When you’re at your wits end because your kid is out of control and you don’t know what to do? You might want the friend that says, “You’re doing everything right, this is a phase, you keep doing exactly what you’re doing.” Because that would feel really good.
But you might need the Mom that says, “I have so been there, and I have a few things I think you could do that would help.” They might not be easy things, and this Mama might not give you easy solutions, but they’re worth listening to. I love my friend that tells me what I need to hear. I trust her and I can listen to her advice and not take it personally or get offended by it but know that she’s a Mama in the trenches next to me who genuinely wants to help.
This Mom is also a great friend to have.
Now that you’re raising your mini – who is probably driving you completely crazy by doing things that you also do – who better to talk to than someone who’s done it before? And with that same challenging DNA coursing through their veins?
This is also a great time to apologize to your Mom if you were…..well, a handful. If you kept her up late at night and you’re only now realizing how much she actually was worried, telling her you get it will mean a lot. And since she’s known you since you were driving her crazy, she probably knows how to reassure you and calm you down better than just about anyone.
And if your Mom isn’t an option, Grandmas, Aunts, and family friends that remember you in diapers are usually pretty good at the advice and hugs too.
The Veteran Mom
One of the best Moms you can connect with is the one that has been there, done that. She’s got older kids in your kid’s new school so if you’re freaking out because you can’t remember if spirit wear was okay any day or just Fridays – you can text her! She knows the protocol for pickup and drop-off and what to do when you miss a day. She’ll tell you which Moms are going to corner you into signing up for being in charge of something and which ones live close that you should make friends with for carpool.
You’ll probably want a few of these depending on your kids activities. Interested in t-ball? Dance classes? Karate? Find out who knows the ropes and befriend them – immediately!
The Funny Mom
Parenting is funny. Like, really really funny. Yet sometimes we’re caught up in the busy back and forth and we can’t see the forest for the trees. The funny Mom can keep you grounded, remind you it’s a phase, and make a joke about it. Look for a Mom on Twitter – I can almost guarantee you she’s taking whatever craziness is happening with her kids and finding the funny in order to survive.
We don’t keep knives in our underpants!
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) September 5, 2018
So if you’re wondering what to do about your kids newest antics – this Mom’s advice may be a Mom’s night out for margaritas and laughs. Which won’t help if your kid is pantsless in Chick-Fil-A, but it will at least make it a whole lot funnier.
Which Mom are you?