Ah the age old debate about whether you should find out your baby’s sex (and have a kickin’ gender reveal) before they’re born! There are two kinds of people in the world: The kind that think you’re absolutely insane if you don’t find out and, well, me.
That’s right, I’m team “Don’t Find Out!” And yes, it drives people crazy (but more on that later). Now, I’ve never been super into the argument that there are so few surprises in life – because it’s sort of a surprise no matter when you find out. And lest you think that I don’t know what I’m talking about, we actually did find out once, so I’ve lived both ways. And I can confidently say that should we go for #4, we won’t be finding out the sex.
Here are the reasons we love not knowing!
No Clothes as Gifts
Maybe for your first you think getting a ton of clothes is going to be AWESOME, but seasoned Moms know that you just. don’t. need that many clothes. Especially that many pink clothes with ruffles. Or blue clothes with “manly” sayings. Because few people get you everyday playclothes. So unless you plan on taking your baby lots of fancy places, you really don’t need to get clothes as gifts. Also, it’s the teeny tiny baby clothes that seem to be extra adorable. Unfortunatly, babies don’t stay teeny tiny for very long. Sometimes, you get a whopper that never fits newborn clothes! (I’m looking at you Cole!) So a handful of small clothes in a nice generic yellow worked just fine for us!
Versatility with Baby Supplies
Baby bottles and pacifiers and lovies and burb cloths and even tiny little baby nail clippers for crying out loud should be simple baby supplies. But once you know that the baby that’s on the way is a boy baby or a girl baby you can find all those items in an appropriately assigned color. Which is kind of insane. Because nail clippers are just nail clippers and pink ones don’t work any better than green ones – even if you pay the pink tax.
So if you’re planning on having more than one kid, even if you find out if you’re having a boy or a girl, do yourself a solid and still get the “gender neutral” colored items. Or you’re probably going to end up re-buying everything later.
This is something to think of ESPECIALLY on big items like strollers and baby carriers! You may be drawn to the adorable pink carrier for your little baby girl, but if you plan on having more, ask yourself if you’re going to want to buy another for a boy. Our favorite solution is to buy a gender neutral option, like this Ergo 360 in pearl gray and then add these adorable pink drool pads or blue ones depending on your baby! And then you can swap them out next time if you need!
Less Annoying Opinions on Names
When we knew our third was going to be a girl, the name suggestions came out of the woodwork! More than that, were the cautionary tales of what we should NEVER name our baby. Like, “You’re not going to name her <insert totally acceptable to everyone but this person name here> right??? Becuase that’s a TERRIBLE name!” To which I enjoyed replying, “Oh yeah, we love that name,” just to see if it made people uncomfortable.
We found that the times we didn’t know the sex of the baby, people were far less occupied with telling us what we should name the baby. Probably because they were too busy telling us we were idiots/crazy/annoying for not finding out the sex of the baby.
Related Post: My Boy Looking Baby Girl
It Drives People Crazy
This probably isn’t the best reason, but we’re a truthful bunch over here. And the fact is, I kinda sorta enjoy driving people crazy with this one. Because it just isn’t that important. There is no reason any of us absolutely need to know the baby’s sex before it’s born. If you want to? More power to you as we are big believers in living life with a “You Do You, Boo” motto! But that means let me do me, even if it makes you nutty.
You’ll Prove Someone That’s “ALWAYS RIGHT” Wrong
Oh, is your Aunt Karen one of those always-has-the-last-word-never-wrong kind of people? Well make her guess what the baby is and NEVER let her forget if she’s wrong! Is your sister-in-law a professional at telling if people are having boys or girls? Get her to pony up five bucks for your baby pool and write that bet down! Keep the list so you can scan it for all the people that were wrong. Don’t forget to asterisk anyone that says “I’m so good at this!” or “I never get these wrong!”
And if they are right, swallow your pride and remind them that they had a 50% chance of being right so it’s not exactly rocket science.
Zero Chance of Disappointment
Yes, yes, of course I always just want a healthy baby.
But, I mean, if I could make two requests it would totally be for a healthy baby….and maybe for that baby to be a specific sex. (I’ve hoped for girl, girl, boy and gotten boy, girl, girl in case you were wondering!) And to be honest, I think if I had found out my first was a boy I would have been the tiniest bit disappointed. I also sort of know I would have been, because I secretly was hoping our third would be a boy.
Related Post: My Real Feelings About Our “Surprise” Baby
Despite my very strong preference to find out at the baby’s birth, my then 3 year old son had an equally strong preference to NOT have a baby brother. We figured it would be the responsible choice to find out ASAP so that we could prepare our son, if necessary. Turns out it was a) not necessary and b) sort of a bummer. Look, I love my daughter, but I remember popping the giant balloon at our gender reveal and thinking, Please don’t let all these people see the disappointment on my face.
When I had my first? I really wanted it to be a girl. I didn’t find out beforehand though, and when my beautiful little boy was handed to me, all of my previous desire for a baby girl melted away instantaneously and I never had even one moment of disappointment. I was so happy that he didn’t live inside of me anymore, and that he was in my arms that I couldn’t even imagine being anything less than ecstatic.
For the record, I felt the same way when they placed my little girl (that I had not long ago wished was a boy) in my arms. Because no matter when you find out your baby’s sex, there is absolutely nothing in the world like meeting them.
3 thoughts on “Why You Shouldn’t Find Out Your Baby’s Sex”
We were team “don’t find out” with both too! I totally see the arguments for finding out, but I loved the “it’s a boy!” “it’s a girl!” moments. I really appreciate your honesty about gender preference too. It’s a real thing that we get all squeamish about. Of course of course of course it doesn’t really matter, but it’s okay to have an idea in your head of what life might look like.
Okay, I was only team green one out of five, but I completely agree with all of these reasons. I especially love the annoying opinions on names ??.
I convinced my hubby not to find out the gender for our first and he ended up loving it – esp. driving people crazy ? and wanted to continue for all our kids. Unfortunately, for our 4th a Dr. let the gender slip early and I was totally disappointed for about a week. With babies #1-3, I felt the way way you did- in love with no longer being pregnant & totally excited to be holding my amazingly, beautiful baby in my arms. Thanks for writing this article! I wish that “no-disappointment” experience for more people, since pregnancy is emotional enough.
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