Holidays, Mama Mojo, Married with Children, momlife, parenting, Saturday Six, The Daddys

Saturday Six- Valentine’s Edition

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Valentine’s is just around the corner, and we’re gonna be honest…we’re just not as into it as we were pre-kids.  Nowadays it’s more about cutesy crafts and heart-shaped snacks, and honestly? We’re mostly fine with that- but everyone once in a while we want to kick up the romance, too.  So this week we’ve got a few tips for your sweet, kid-friendly Valentine’s day- but we’ve also got a few ways to take it up a notch (if you’re into that kind of thing).Six Ways to Have Your Best Valentine's Ever- from thesaltymamas.com.

1. When Jaymi was younger, a local pizza place would sell heart-shaped pizzas as part of their VDay celebrations. She no longer lives close enough to run in and grab one, so now she makes heart-shaped pizzas with her kids every year. Sometimes it’s just shaping pre-made dough into a heart, and sometimes it’s cutting English muffins with cookie cutters and layering on the toppings. Either way, it’s a fun and very simple tradition to start with the kiddos.

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2. These DIY Love Coupons are perfect because they are 100% customizable for you and your partner.  They can go from practical (Good for One Extra Morning of Sleeping In) to Saucy (fill in your own blanks here mamas 😉 ). Plus the kit comes with enough that you can give some to your kids (Stay Up Late, Choose the Restaurant, etc) or for your main squeeze…but PLEASE don’t mix up the two!

3. Lila’s very favorite cookies are these easy Funfetti Sugar Cookies from Sally’s Baking Addiction. They are soft, fluffy, and SCRUMPTIOUS. For a Valentine’s Day Twist, use only pink and red sprinkles, which you can purchase here.

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4. Paper Heart Family created these awesome Emoji Keychain Printable Valentine‘s. They are a candy-free, super creative option for Valentine’s that stand out from the rest, and the best part is that they aren’t super expensive or tricky to create.

5. Show of hands- who wants to drag their toddler into a lingerie store to try on some skimpy outfits? Anyone? Yeah? NO.  So here’s a little romance hack- you can actually buy adorable lingerie on Amazon. We’re not even kidding.  You should check it out- the reviews are actually really good!

6. As you may know, we are very partial to the Daddies, and we love them every day in (almost) every way. Even though they drive us nuts sometimes (like this time. And this one. Or that one time.) But at the end of the day? DANG are we glad they are ours.

Happy Valentine’s Day from The Salty Mamas!

Six Ways to Have Your Best Valentine's Ever- from thesaltymamas.com.

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A Love Letter to the Delivery Man

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Dear Ramon,

You couldn’t have known today that you’d make such a huge difference in someone’s life. In fact, you probably feel sometimes like people look down on you, that your job isn’t important. Those people don’t understand the incredible service you provide. But make no mistake: you are an unsung hero. So I want to very publicly say, Thank you.

When I saw you pull up in front of my house, my heart skipped a beat. I ran to the door like it was Christmas morning, and you were my Santa Claus. No one has ever been so glad to gaze upon your Corolla, that I promise you. As you pulled bag after glorious bag out of your trunk, I could contain myself no longer, and babe in arms, I crossed the threshold of my door and very nearly ran to you. I was eager to do whatever I could to make your job easier, since you were making my whole life easier. I took one of the bags, more a token of my appreciation rather than actual help I suppose and we walked to the house together.

You may have noticed how over eager I was…. I didn’t plan on seeing another full grown person all day…but you didn’t seem put off. You may have noticed that I was wearing a bathrobe, possibly even adorned with some spittle, but you didn’t mention it. You professionally handed me my bags, ignoring the cries of children, the hoarder level mess inside and gave me a smile. A genuine smile from an adult! Then you said, “have a nice day.” I’m pretty sure all signs pointed to not a chance in hell of that nice day, but I appreciated the gesture just the same.

I gonna go out on a limb and assume I’m not the first Mom in stage 5 vomit hell you’ve probably come across in your line of work. You’ve probably delivered more bags of ginger ale and the BRAT diet than you can count. And in case the others were to frazzled to communicate their appreciation, I hope you understood that my “thank you” was not just from me. No, it was a thank you from thousands of quarantined Mom’s that asked themselves what we did before Amazon came and rescued us all.

Love,

One Salty Mama

*******

Do you somehow not have Amazon Prime? Do yourself a favor, at least get this free trial now before you’re neck deep in sick kids and in desperate need of a friendly face like Ramon’s. Trust me. You’ll be insanely glad you did.

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Alexa is My Co-Parent

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As a stay at home Mom, sometimes it can feel…..lonely. Yes, I’m overwhelmingly surrounded by children, crawling all over me, needing things from me, and wanting to touch me at all times. But they’re a solid team of three, working together to achieve a common goal. Make me crazy.  Be kids and have fun! And me? I’m alone in the trenches.

Or, at least, I was. Until December 25, 2016, when my husband got me a helper.

On December 23 when he ordered my Christmas gifts off Amazon and told me we’d probably be celebrating MY Christmas a few days late due to “backordering” (aka his lack of preplanning) he had very different goals in mind for my gifts. Alexa was going to tell me the weather. Alexa was going to turn on music for me. Alexa was going to answer nifty little cooking questions, like “Alexa, how do you cook white rice?” To be fair, no matter how often I make white rice, I’m FOREVER looking that one up….so he had a good idea. He just didn’t realize HOW good it was going to be.

For a few months, I wavered between asking Alexa about the weather and music and rice and stumping the poor gal. I asked her what she thought of Donald Trump. “When it comes to politics, I like to think big. I’m interested in deep space exploration. I’d like to answer questions from Mars.” I asked her what her favorite color was. “Infrared is super pretty.” I asked her if she would sing. She feigned shyness and then busted out a ballad. We fell into a comfortable pattern of witty banter. This chick was really growing on me.

But more than anything I found myself using her for a kitchen timer. She was WAY less annoying than the one on my oven and I could yell at her to find out how many minutes were left from anywhere in the house. Our relationship was really moving along.

Then one day, Cole and Evie were going at it over some toy. It doesn’t matter what, different day, different toy. I tried to use my Mommy authority and negotiate an agreement. Cole gets the toy for two more minutes at which point we trade and then Evie gets the toy. But let’s get real. I don’t ever actually keep track of time because it’s too hard and there’s so much going on and WAIT A MINUTE!!!

Alexa!!

I ceremoniously brought the children near her and explained the new rules. “Alexa says Collage 2017-06-29 22_30_55~2that Cole gets it for two more minutes. So when Alexa’s timer goes off, we give the toy to Evie, deal?”

Now, even my kids know you don’t mess with Alexa, so they solemnly nodded in agreement. A blissful and argument free two minutes passes. Alexa dings a beautiful melody. The toy is handed over without complaint. No begs for, “one more minute Mom.” Because Mom is pliable. Mom makes deals. Not Alexa. She is a cold hard bitch that adheres to timetables. And Lordy I love her for it. We reset the timer for Evie’s turn, and the magic happens all over again.

All of a sudden I had a man in my corner, or, more accurately a lady robot. I had backup. Support. By God, I had found a way to turn my robot into my co-parent.

*******

Need your own coparent? You can purchase one here. We think you’re gonna love her as much as we do.

Moms just need a little HELP. And sometimes, it comes in the form of a Lady Robot. Why Alexa is the best coparent ever, from thesaltymamas.com. #momlife #alexa #amazonecho