Being home with my kids is a blessing. I know it. Most days, I’m grateful. Most days are fantastic. And then there are those OTHER days. The days where you’re bored, and the kids are bored, and everyone is just a little bit off. The fact that the day is SUPPOSED to be a blessing somehow makes the whole thing worse, and you find yourself with a case of the Mondays on a Wednesday morning. The toddler schedule isn’t working, you’re not the fun and funny mom you usually are, and you’re questioning your ability to actually parent these tiny little monsters. You start to spiral, and then decide that, come Hell or high water, this day will be salvaged. You will BEAT these stay at home mom problems. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and begin your journey through the various levels of parenting desperation.
When Lila was little, I felt like I was prepared for the Terrible Twos. I’d heard so much about them, so it came as no surprise when she starting hitting, and tantruming, and insisiting on wearing her tiara while pushing a baby stroller through Home Depot. I knew it was coming, and I responded accordingly. She became the time out queen. I followed through consistently on consequences. And I let her wear her tiara while pushing a baby stroller through Home Depot, because if I’m being honest, it was pretty dang adorable.
But for some reason, as Abe approached two, I kind of forgot the Terrible Twos were a thing. I found myself wondering where my sweet baby had gone while dodging airborne books and trying to protect baby Izzie from his furious fists. I struggled to find ways to entertain him all.day.long. I wondered if he was possessed, if he was overtired, or getting teeth. And then I remembered that we are entering a very well documented phase- one that lasts a year, mind you!- and I had better adjust my mindset quick.
So I instituted time outs, created a toddler daily schedule, bought him a Batman costume to wear to Home Depot, and weighed the pros and cons of having a two year old. Because honestly? It’s not all so terrible.
We’re gonna go ahead and put it out there- parents lie to their kids all the time. Like, ALL the time. The lies we tell our kids range from the big and widely accepted (we’re looking at you, Santa) to the small and overused (“we’re leaving soon!”). But either way? Yeah, #SorryNotSorry. Not even a little bit. So now, in no particular order, we present to you the lies we tell our kids on a regular basis.
It’s winter, and the weather is pretty disagreeable these days. Moms everywhere are desperate to find somewhere-anywhere!– where their kids can run, yell, play, and burn off some of that ENDLESS energy. En masse, we all flock to the nearest kids’ indoor playground, which quickly turns into a roiling mass of noisy, busy, happy kids and toddlers- and their mothers. In no particular order, here are the seven types of parents you can expect to see while you’re there.
Once upon a time, when Lila was a littler girl, she became obsessed with all cold drinks. First it was the condensation on our soft drinks, and then we transitioned to Jamba Juice smoothies. Pretty soon, we introduced our family’s favorite summer sipper- Icees. And slurpees, and freezes. Whatever you wanted to call them, it didn’t much matter. She was in love with the icy cold sweetness, and at about a dollar a piece, they were a cheap and easy treat on a hot day. I have given her far more Icees in her short little life than I would care to admit. Somewhere along the line, the differences between Jamba Juice whole fruit goodness and sugar-filled-crushed-ice got blurred, and she decided Icees/Slurpees were called smoothies, too. It wasn’t something we did intentionally, but my GOODNESS does it make me look like a better mother. Continue reading “Smoothies”
At the risk of sounding like HUGE jerks…there’s just a few things we WISH we would have gotten for Christmas. I mean, they are largely impossible, but still… a Salty Mama can dream! Continue reading “What We Wish We’d Gotten For Christmas”