The Daddys Archives – The Salty Mamas

10 Reasons to Say NO to a Puppy

April 13, 2018March 24, 2018 by Salty Christine

#puppy #canihaveapuppy #shouldwegetapuppy #kids #kidsanddogs #kidsandpuppies #puppiesandkids #aboyandhisdog #familydog

This morning I opened my email to find a very rare message from my husband. We’re not people that email, text or really communicate while he’s at work, so I knew this was either something urgent, important, or special. What I received was a picture, followed by this:

Cole’s early birthday present???
I know we are not ready and really this burden would fall 100% on you but this could be the adoring fan who is always there for him that he needs.

I quickly went through a thousand emotions from rage, to thinking he was sweet, to crying at the idea of another thing to keep alive, to swooning over how adorable the pups are, to realizing that I needed to nip this in the bud. Fast.

I clicked “Reply” and fired off my ten reasons we are NOT getting a puppy right now.

What I Learned About Myself During Spring Cleaning

March 19, 2018March 16, 2018 by thesaltymamas

#springcleaning #selfare #Momlife #Momfashion

Every once in a while, my husband gets it in his mind that we can’t possibly go one day longer without getting rid of some stuff. A lot of stuff. All the stuff. We go to Costco and come home with bins and bins and shelving to hold the bins and off we go. I mentally prepare, grab trash bags for what we’ll toss, the bins for what we’ll keep, and have dollar signs in my eyes for the stuff I’m going to sell.

I start in the kids rooms and secretly clear out some old toys, because Lord knows they won’t miss them. Then I retire the clothes that they’ve grown out of. Planning to have more kids, I get to keep all their clothes without much argument. Chad is great about getting rid of clothes. He sometimes goes TOO far in my mind, deciding that he only needs five t-shirts, one sweater, two casual polo shirts and one suit. Then I remind him about all the other times he might want to be dressed and we find a happy medium.

Then there’s me. And my bureau. And my walk in closet. And my bins of extras. In truth, I wear about one tenth of what’s easily accessible. And, walking Mom cliché that I am, it’s lots of leggings and casual shirts. My closet features lots of things with names you may recognize like Irma and Randy….but the rest hangs unworn, though not unloved. What transpires next is always like an episode of hoarders.

Naughty and Nice Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

January 3, 2019February 3, 2018 by thesaltymamas

Looking for ways to celebrate Valentine's Day? We've got six ways to take it up a notch (in both naughty and nice ways!) at TheSaltyMamas.com. #valentinesday #valentinesdaywithkids

Valentine’s is just around the corner, and we’re gonna be honest…we’re just not as into it as we were pre-kids. Nowadays it’s more about cutesy crafts and heart-shaped snacks. We’re mostly fine with that- but everyone once in a while we want to kick up the romance, too. So this week we’ve got a few tips for your sweet, kid-friendly Valentine’s day- but we’ve also got a few ways to take it up a notch (if you’re into that kind of thing).

The Daddy Decree

January 19, 2018 by Salty Christine

#parenting #momlife #mommyblogger #coparenting #dadlife

In our house, Mommy is home with the kids all day, every day, and Daddy goes off to work every morning. Like a man going off to war, mornings are full of hugs, tears and promises that he will return soon. After the last hug, the last kiss, the kids rush together climbing up the couch – and over each other – to press themselves against the window to get one last glance of Daddy as he heroically drives off to his job. Then they turn and look at me as if to say, “So it’s just you and us again?” Mommy No-Fun is here. I enforce breakfast rules, make everyone change out of pajamas and into clothes and chase them around with shoes and lunch bags and beg them to just please get in the car already. It’s often chaotic, but for the most part we have our routines down.

We repeat this process for the next five days until finally the weekend hits. We fall into our Saturday routine – breakfast, errands together, something fun as a family. But eventually we hit a bump in the road. Maybe the kids spill some crackers, make a mess, and have a total freakout. Maybe Cole and Evie get into an epic swordfight over who gets to pick what show they watch while I’m cooking. Maybe Cole REALLY doesn’t want to ride in the shopping cart and throws an epic fit.

And that’s when the Daddy Decrees begin:

The Romance is Dead. Sort of.

July 30, 2018January 15, 2018 by Salty Christine

#Romance #marriedlife #oldmarriedcouple #parentinghumor #momlife #momhumor

Once upon a time, when it was just the two of us, my husband and I were younger people with lots of energy. We could stay up late, watch TV, talk to each other, enjoy a cocktail and, well….you know what happens next in the RomCom that was our “Once upon a time.”

Then we got married. Had kids. Became chronically exhausted. And some elements of those younger people’s lives slowly fell off the radar. We stopped watching multi-season television series and settled for single season commitments like Survivor or American Horror Story. We were maybe the only people NOT pissed off about Game of Thrones being only seven episodes this season because it was manageable enough that we could finish it.

Half the time one of us is asleep by the time the other gets back from putting the kids back in bed after their philosophical inquisition/demands for water/”one last hug.” Conversations are often about said kids, our upcoming schedule, or what needs to get done around the house. I’m too tired to even drink wine, so I’m not going to spell out for you what else I’m too tired for.