Levels of Parenting Emergencies

kid with scraped knees; text: 10 levels of parenting emergencies

When the babies were little, we used to take them on these “playdates” with our MomSquad. We’d pick a destination like the nature center or storytime, but what we really wanted was the companionship. And the desire to feel like we were doing something with the babies, because honestly, what are you even supposed to do with a kid that can’t even talk or move on their own yet?

So we’d lay them on the blankets and chit chat about our lives. We only had one veteran mama in our midst at the time, and she casually mentioned that the hardest part about parenting two was that you had to ignore one of your children from time to time.

What she meant, of course, is that one child’s small needs have to take a backseat to the other child’s BIG needs once in a while. Another mama literally put her hand to her mouth in horror. “I don’t care how many kids I have, I would never IGNORE one of my children.”

Spoiler alert: you would. You absolutely would.

Because when you’ve got two or more kids, the concept of “emergency” can take on a whole new meaning.  And when faced with a parenting emergency, you HAVE to favor the squeaky wheel. Because the squeaky wheel may be bleeding. Or trying to poop in a potted plant.

Oh, come on, like that hasn’t happened to you.

At any rate, when you’ve got more than one kid, there’s a whole new hierarchy of what needs to be prioritized. We’ve got the Levels of Parenting Emergencies below, ranked from most severe to “meh.”

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5 Steps to Planning a Kid’s Birthday Party

Planning a kid's birthday party is no joke. Luckily there are five easy - and hysterical - steps to nailing any party! Check them out from The Salty Mamas! #partyplanning #kidsbirthday #kidsbirthdayparty #5thbirthdayparty #4thbirthdayparty #3rdbirthdayparty #2ndbirthdayparty #1stbirthdayparty #firstbirthday #kidpartytheme #kidsbirthdaytheme #kidspartyplanning #howtoplanaparty #whatshouldIhaveatmykidsparty #partyplanninghelp #partyplanningideas #partyplanninginfulleffect #partyplanningmama

Wondering how to plan a kid’s birthday party? Feeling overwhelmed and don’t know where to start? We’ve all been there! But as a Mom of 5 kids, I’ve had plenty of practice. I have absolutely nailed it, and I have absolutely butchered it (like the year I planned a whole party and forgot to invite anyone). Through it all, I figured out the essential 5 steps to planning the perfect party. You’re welcome. 

Sunday is my son’s 5th birthday party, and as I sit here completely and totally ready taking a short break from the final scramble, I can’t help but reflect on the journey it took to get to this point.

I’m literally an event planner by trade, so I had it in my head that I was cut out for this whole party planning thing. I mean, if I can organize 5K fundraising walks for thousands of people and galas that need to raise a million dollars, then surely I can successfully execute one kid’s party right?

Wrong.

All the moody volunteer committees couldn’t prepare me for dealing with one opinionated 4 year old. The requests – nay demands – like real live unicorns – are out of this world.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here are the 5 steps you must follow to have a successful birthday party!

Planning a kid's birthday party is no joke. Luckily there are five easy - and hysterical - steps to nailing any party! Check them out from The Salty Mamas! #partyplanning #kidsbirthday #kidsbirthdayparty #momlife #momhumor #momlifehumor #5thbirthdayparty #4thbirthdayparty #3rdbirthdayparty #2ndbirthdayparty #1stbirthdayparty #firstbirthday #kidpartytheme #kidsbirthdaytheme #kidspartyplanning #howtoplanaparty #whatshouldIhaveatmykidsparty #partyplanninghelp #partyplanningideas #partyplanninginfulleffect #partyplanningmama

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Laugh Your Way Through the 10 Levels of Parenting Desperation

Looking for a way to turn your bad day around? Come laugh through the 10 levels of Parenting Desperation with the funny mom behind TheSaltyMamas.com.

Being home with my kids is a blessing.  I know it. Most days, I’m grateful. Most days are fantastic. And then there are those OTHER days. The days where you’re bored, and the kids are bored, and everyone is just a little bit off. The fact that the day is SUPPOSED to be a blessing somehow makes the whole thing worse, and you find yourself with a case of the Mondays on a Wednesday morning.  The toddler schedule isn’t working, you’re not the fun and funny mom you usually are, and you’re questioning your ability to actually parent these tiny little monsters. You start to spiral, and then decide that, come Hell or high water, this day will be salvaged. You will BEAT these stay at home mom problems. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and begin your journey through the various levels of parenting desperation.

Looking for a way to turn your bad day around? Come laugh through the 10 levels of Parenting Desperation with the funny mom behind TheSaltyMamas.com.

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Mother’s Day Fantasy vs. Mother’s Day Reality

What happens when your Mother's Day Fantasies just don't happen?

I’ve got a Mother’s Day hangover. And not the good kind that implies that I spent the entire day relaxing and drinking too much champagne. No, I’ve got the kind where I find myself asking, “What happened yesterday??” Now, I’m not the kind of person that traditionally builds up holidays. I’ve never had high expectations for a life changing New Year’s Eve. I’ve never thought that Valentine’s Day was going to be the most romantic day of the year. But somewhere along the line I saw one too many Mother’s Day commercials with happy kids showering their Moms with love, crafts, coffee and breakfast – even if it was poorly, yet comically, made with egg shells hidden in the omelet.

That was not my Mother’s Day. And as I scrolled through Facebook, I started to think maybe I was the only Mom that didn’t have that picture perfect Mother’s Day….crafts everywhere, Moms thanking their families for the outpouring of love, and me feeling more and more empty. Then I remembered I was on Facebook and decided to go to Twitter, where complaining is more accepted. And I found my people.

But you might be my people too. So here’s what I fantasized for Mother’s Day, and how my day differed dramatically.

What happens when your Mother's Day Fantasies just don't happen?

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What Exactly is so TERRIBLE About Two?

Let's face it- Not EVERYTHING about two is terrible. The Pros of Cons of the Terrible Twos, from thesaltymamas.com #terribletwos #terribletwohumor #dealingwithtantrums #toddleractivities

Wondering what exactly is so terrible about two year olds? Here are the pros (and cons!) of having a two year old in the house, from two moms who have been there (times six!)

When Lila was little, I felt like I was prepared for the Terrible Twos. I’d heard so much about them, so it came as no surprise when she starting hitting, and tantruming, and insisiting on wearing her tiara while pushing a baby stroller through Home Depot.

I knew it was coming, and I responded accordingly. She became the time out queen. I followed through consistently on consequences. And I let her wear her tiara while pushing a baby stroller through Home Depot, because if I’m being honest, it was pretty dang adorable.

Let's face it- Not EVERYTHING about two is terrible. The Pros of Cons of the Terrible Twos, from thesaltymamas.com #terribletwos #terribletwohumor #dealingwithtantrums #toddleractivities

But for some reason, as Abe approached two, I kind of forgot the Terrible Twos were a thing. I found myself wondering where my sweet baby had gone while dodging airborne books and trying to protect baby Izzie from his furious fists. I struggled to find ways to entertain him all.day.long.

I wondered if he was possessed, if he was overtired, or getting teeth. And then I remembered that we are entering a very well documented phase- one that lasts a year, mind you!- and I had better adjust my mindset quick.

So I instituted time outs, created a toddler daily schedule, bought him a Batman costume to wear to Home Depot, and weighed the pros and cons of having a two year old. Because honestly? It’s not all so terrible.

Let's face it- Not EVERYTHING about two is terrible. The Pros of Cons of the Terrible Twos, from thesaltymamas.com #terribletwos #terribletwohumor #dealingwithtantrums #toddleractivities

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