It’s raining here. Again. And as Southern California Mamas, we are the first to admit that we are NOT used to it. Like, we barely own umbrellas kind of not used to it. So at the first sign of a sprinkle we’re making sure the kids actually have jackets and are scrambling to try to keep the family dry. As usual, we thought about ourselves last. We had no idea how to survive a rainy day inside with kids. So here are some thing that help us get through our day trapped inside!
Okay, okay hear- me out. I’m not a total MONSTER. I don’t actually WANT babies to cry. But let’s face it, ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to make a baby cry. Actually, the mere fact of trying to get a baby to STOP crying will probably show you a million more ways to make them cry in the first place.
I think we have this idea as mothers- especially new mothers- that babies aren’t supposed to cry much. We’ve been trained to think that crying means something is wrong, and that it is our job to figure out and fix said thing, in order to get a baby to stop crying.
But if you’ve spent any amount of time with a newborn, you know there are other factors at play. Sometimes, despite our best of intentions and most tender loving care, we figure out how to make a baby cry- the hard way.
So for your reading pleasure, here are 10 ways to make a baby cry.
The best way to get through the holidays is to laugh at other parents’ misfortune. So we pulled together 25 hilarious holiday tweets to keep you going – and help you remember that we’re all just suffering through until December 26.
Unless your kids are getting toys that make lots and lots of noise. Then the suffering is never-ending my friend.
So happy holidays to all the Salty Mamas and Papas that do it anyway because we love these little stinkers.
If you have kids, you are NO stranger to all the crazy reasons that they’ll throw a fit. And yet, no matter how many tantrums you’ve witnessed, you’ll never stop being amazed at the things kids can freak out over. So we scoured Twitter for some of the funniest, craziest, most ludicrous reasons kids cry. Then, we asked our followers – Why did your kids cry?
Here’s what they told us!
You’re in the home stretch of bedtime. Your kids have been bathed. Their teeth are brushed, their jammies are on, and only a bedtime story stands between you and two hours of sweet freedom. You settle down into your kid’s bed, and ask your child to choose the book they want to read tonight.
And then it happens.
Your child brings you – that book. One of the world’s WORST children’s books.
You beg them to choose another- “what about one of the new ones from the library?” or “I’ll read you a whole chapter of Harry Potter!”- but they simply won’t be swayed. You’re going to have to do it. You’re going to have to read a kids’ book that you HATE.
And the odds are? It’s one of these six. Read on for the worst children’s books- the ones we simply can’t STAND to read.
The kids are going back to school, and we’re having all the feelings about it. But at least we can take to Twitter to know that we are not alone. Check out these sometimes hilarious, sometimes kicks you in the feels, but always keepin’ it real, back to school tweets.
Well when you put it that way….
Everybody wants their kids to go back to school, until they’re stranded on the toilet without toilet paper and no one’s around to grab a new roll.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) August 17, 2018
It’s important to know the rules.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) August 20, 2017
Does the playground count?
Just when I think I have this parenting thing down, my 9 y/o daughter looks at me while back to school shopping and whispers “Mommy, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” #momlife
— Anna Zap (@AnnaZapOnAir) August 18, 2018
Back to school Murphy’s Law SUCKS
— Treehousethreadsblog (@treehouseblog) August 18, 2018
Teachers are so magical
*observing my daughter in preschool*
Me: Ok, but how do you get her to just sit there and listen?
Teacher: We practice patience and teach them to do the same.
Me: Right, right. But, like, what bribes are you using?
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) August 6, 2018
A different kind of sniffles
Told my stepdaughter she could only pick one dress for her first day of school look and she stormed off in a huff so I’m over here in Kohl’s rage sniffing autumn candles if you need me. #momlife #parenting #kohls #momsquad #dadlife
— Marissa ? (@natsmama75) August 18, 2018
Now THAT’S early childhood education
So my 3yo came home from her new preschool saying “save the issues for your tissues.”
So yeah, we’re really happy to see our money is so well spent on these kinds of life lessons.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 17, 2018
Let the conversations begin!
Conversations with my kids during the school year:
Kids at breakfast: meh
Kids on the way to school: bleh
Kids after school: unh
Kids at dinner: ergh
Kids at bedtime: LET ME DESCRIBE THE LAST 7 YEARS OF MY LIFE IN DETAIL—IT BEGAN IN YOUR WOMB IN THE SUMMER OF 2010…
— Miranda Asebedo (@MirandaWriteNow) August 16, 2018
Friendly parenting advice: Don’t start any elaborate and adorable 1st day of school traditions for your first kid you won’t be able to keep up for the rest of the kids.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) August 20, 2018
If thinking this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right….
Am I wrong to expect mimosas at this 9:15am meeting at my child school? It does say on the announcement “do not bring children if possible”. So in my opinion it would be very misleading if no alcohol is served as we prepare our children for Kindergarten.
— Mommin’ All Day Every Day (@DayMommin) August 17, 2018
I just found my spirit animal.
my 7yo has been living in her robe and saying “pants are overrated” so going back to school in two weeks will be fun
— nicole tersigni (@nicsigni) August 20, 2018
It’s never too early for all the feelings.
All these first day of school posts already got me ? thinking about my son’s first day… which won’t happen for 3 more years ? #momlife
— Bekah Roberts (@sincerelybeks) August 20, 2018
May we all be so brave.
In case you were wondering if I was a wreck dropping off The Boy for his first day of middle school today, I WAS NOT. I unceremoniously told him to get out of the car and didn’t start getting teary until I was more than 5 miles away. #MomLife
— E.M. Caines (@EMCaines) August 16, 2018
Take pictures of your kids each year on the first day of school.
— Micah (@ParentalGrit) August 13, 2018
Back to school shopping just got REAL
my kids’ back-to-school shopping list
8 reams of paper
76 packs of kleenex
a box of unworn britney spears concert t-shirts
a black tesla with off-burgundy interior
2 baby mastodons
the original copy of the declaration of independence
— MillerCycle (@millercycle) August 15, 2018
Because of course he did…
My kids have been fighting like cats and dogs all summer. It’s 10:30 am on the first day of school, and my son is asking when we can go pick up his sister. ??♀️ #Firstdayofschool2018 #siblings #momlife #lifewithkids
— Gabby Cullen (@gabbycullen) August 20, 2018
Got it, got it, got it – DON’T got it!
Just dropped off the 4 year old for his first day of preschool. I’m holding it together.
*flips open writing notebook*
*sees page where he practiced writing his name*
I am NOT holding it together.???
— Rebecca Frohling (@chipmunkofpower) August 20, 2018
Hi, my name is what?
Today was my kids’ first day of school ever. They were previously homeschooled. I asked my son if he made friends at school. He said he did. I asked what their names were. He responded:
— Stephenie Peterson (@NellieNovaBook) August 15, 2018
— Dad with a Beer (@DadWithABeer) August 14, 2018
Wait, we have to do this AGAIN?
— Tabitha Newton (@TabithaNewton23) August 15, 2018
As a Mom, I’m contractually obligated to think my kids are adorable. The cutest kids in the world even. So when I look at my stunningly beautiful children, I do so with the awareness that I’m wearing some serious Mom-colored glasses. I don’t gush about it because the real world may see them through normal glasses and think, “Meh.” But when your bestie, who also happened to have a stint as a Mom to a real life baby model, says, “Hey, have you considered sending in her pics to a modeling agency?,” you think maybe your kid really is as cute as you think she is!
Of course, being a baby model is more than just being cute. And it’s a whole process to get into the game, but thankfully the bestie was there to hold my hand and walk me through the process. So I followed her advice, got some bright solid colored outfits and bought myself a Groupon to the JCPenney portrait studio and crossed my fingers. We got some great shots so I nervously – but somewhat confidently – went to the websites for some reputable local youth talent agencies and submitted my daughter’s pictures.
It wasn’t even 12 hours later before I got our first rejection email. I was immediately thrown into the five stages of baby model rejection. Should you find yourself thinking about entering the cutthroat world of baby modeling, you should be ready to experience all of these feelings as well. (But I’m sure you won’t – because your kid is adorable!)
There are two kinds of toddlers: the kind that are super picky eaters and the kind that aren’t. And there’s a ton of helpful information out there to help your picky eater. Which is awesome! But as much as having kids that won’t eat anything is a major PITA, I’m here to tell you that having kids that eat EVERYTHING isn’t that great either. So whether your kid is a human garbage disposal too, or you just want to feel better about your situation, here are five things that are major downsides to having kids that everyone considers to be “great” eaters.
When the babies were little, we used to take them on these “playdates” with our MomSquad. We’d pick a destination like the nature center or storytime, but what we really wanted was the companionship. And the desire to feel like we were doing something with the babies, because honestly, what are you even supposed to do with a kid that can’t even talk or move on their own yet?
So we’d lay them on the blankets and chit chat about our lives. We only had one veteran mama in our midst at the time, and she casually mentioned that the hardest part about parenting two was that you had to ignore one of your children from time to time.
What she meant, of course, is that one child’s small needs have to take a backseat to the other child’s BIG needs once in a while. Another mama literally put her hand to her mouth in horror. “I don’t care how many kids I have, I would never IGNORE one of my children.”
Spoiler alert: you would. You absolutely would.
Because when you’ve got two or more kids, the concept of “emergency” can take on a whole new meaning. And when faced with aa parenting emergency, you HAVE to favor the squeaky wheel. Because the squeaky wheel may be bleeding. Or trying to poop in a potted plant.
Oh, come on, like that hasn’t happened to you.
At any rate, when you’ve got more than one kid, there’s a whole new hierarchy of what needs to be prioritized. We’ve got the Levels of Parenting Emergencies below, ranked from most severe to “meh.”
Being home with my kids is a blessing. I know it. Most days, I’m grateful. Most days are fantastic. And then there are those OTHER days. The days where you’re bored, and the kids are bored, and everyone is just a little bit off. The fact that the day is SUPPOSED to be a blessing somehow makes the whole thing worse, and you find yourself with a case of the Mondays on a Wednesday morning. The toddler schedule isn’t working, you’re not the fun and funny mom you usually are, and you’re questioning your ability to actually parent these tiny little monsters. You start to spiral, and then decide that, come Hell or high water, this day will be salvaged. You will BEAT these stay at home mom problems. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and begin your journey through the various levels of parenting desperation.