momlife

Rainy Day Survival Guide – for Moms!

It’s raining here. Again. And as Southern California Mamas, we are the first to admit that we are NOT used to it. Like, we barely own umbrellas kind of not used to it. So at the first sign of a sprinkle we’re making sure the kids actually have jackets and are scrambling to try to keep the family dry. As usual, we thought about ourselves last. We had no idea how to survive a rainy day inside with kids. So here are some thing that help us get through our day trapped inside!

We're always thinking about what the KIDS need, but don't forget everything a Mom needs to survive a rainy day! #rainyday #rain #survivingarainyday #howtosurvivearainyday #rainydayschedule #kidsrainyday #momsrainyday #itsraining #whattodowhenitsraining #rainydayfun Continue reading “Rainy Day Survival Guide – for Moms!”

Mom Humor

How to Make a Baby Cry in 9 Easy Steps

Okay, okay hear- me out. I’m not a total MONSTER. I don’t actually WANT babies to cry. But let’s face it, ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to make a baby cry. Actually, the mere fact of trying to get a baby to STOP crying will probably show you a million more ways to make them cry in the first place.

I think we have this idea as mothers- especially new mothers- that babies aren’t supposed to cry much. We’ve been trained to think that crying means something is wrong, and that it is our job to figure out and fix said thing, in order to get a baby to stop crying. 

But if you’ve spent any amount of time with a newborn, you know there are other factors at play. Sometimes, despite our best of intentions and most tender loving care, we figure out how to make a baby cry- the hard way.

So for your reading pleasure, here are 10 ways to make a baby cry. 

No matter what you do, let's face it- babies are gonna spend some time crying. 9 hilarious truths about babies from TheSaltyMamas.com. #babies #howtomakeababystopcrying #newborn #newborntips #adviceformoms #parentinghumor #momhumor Continue reading “How to Make a Baby Cry in 9 Easy Steps”
Mom Humor

25 Hilarious Holiday Tweets

The best way to get through the holidays is to laugh at other parents’ misfortune. So we pulled together 25 hilarious holiday tweets to keep you going – and help you remember that we’re all just suffering through until December 26.

Unless your kids are getting toys that make  lots and lots of noise. Then the suffering is never-ending my friend.

So happy holidays to all the Salty Mamas and Papas that do it anyway because we love these little stinkers.

The best way to get through the holidays is to laugh at other parents' misfortune with these hilarious holiday tweets! Continue reading “25 Hilarious Holiday Tweets”

Mom Humor

Most Hillarious “My Kid is Crying” Tweets

If you have kids, you are NO stranger to all the crazy reasons that they’ll throw a fit. And yet, no matter how many tantrums you’ve witnessed, you’ll never stop being amazed at the things kids can freak out over. So we scoured Twitter for some of the funniest, craziest, most ludicrous reasons kids cry. Then, we asked our followers – Why did your kids cry?

25 of the most ridiculous reasons our kids cried! #momhumor #mommyhumor #mykidiscryingbecause #mytoddleriscryingbecause #reasonskidscry #tantrums #terribletwos #momlife #dadlife #funnytweets #besttweets #funniesttweets #momlifetweets #momtweets #twitter #momtwitter

Here’s what they told us!

Continue reading “Most Hillarious “My Kid is Crying” Tweets”

Mom Humor

The Worst Children’s Books (Like…EVER)

You’re in the home stretch of bedtime. Your kids have been bathed. Their teeth are brushed, their jammies are on, and only a bedtime story stands between you and two hours of sweet freedom. You settle down into your kid’s bed, and ask your child to choose the book they want to read tonight.

And then it happens.

Your child brings you – that book. One of the world’s WORST children’s books.

You beg them to choose another- “what about one of the new ones from the library?” or “I’ll read you a whole chapter of Harry Potter!”- but they simply won’t be swayed. You’re going to have to do it. You’re going to have to read a kids’ book that you HATE.

And the odds are? It’s one of these six. Read on for the worst children’s books- the ones we simply can’t STAND to read.

We're just gonna go ahead and say it...these kids' books suck. Picture books we NEVER want to read again, from TheSaltyMamas.com. #raisingreaders #readaloudbooks #picturebooks #Kidsbooks #loveyouforever #worstbooks #readaloudbooks
Continue reading “The Worst Children’s Books (Like…EVER)”
Mom Humor

20 of the Most Real Back to School Tweets

The kids are going back to school, and we’re having all the feelings about it. But at least we can take to Twitter to know that we are not alone. Check out these sometimes hilarious, sometimes kicks you in the feels, but always keepin’ it real, back to school tweets.

Hilarious and real back to school tweets from Moms and Dads who GET IT! #backtoschool #firstdayofschool #twitterroundup #tweetroundup #mommyhumor #momhumor #traditions #kindergarten #preschool #firstdayofschool2018 #firstdayofpreschool #firstdayofpreschool2018 #firstdayofkindergarten #firstdayofkindergarten2018 #backtoschool2018

Well when you put it that way….

It’s important to know the rules.

Does the playground count?

Back to school Murphy’s Law SUCKS

Teachers are so magical

A different kind of sniffles

Now THAT’S early childhood education

Let the conversations begin!

TRUTH

If thinking this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right….

I just found my spirit animal.

It’s never too early for all the feelings.

May we all be so brave.

Say, “Cheese!”

Back to school shopping just got REAL

Because of course he did…

Got it, got it, got it – DON’T got it!

Hi, my name is what?

Success!

Wait, we have to do this AGAIN?

Hilarious and real back to school tweets from Moms and Dads who GET IT! #backtoschool #firstdayofschool #twitterroundup #tweetroundup #mommyhumor #momhumor #traditions #kindergarten #preschool #firstdayofschool2018 #firstdayofpreschool #firstdayofpreschool2018 #firstdayofkindergarten #firstdayofkindergarten2018 #backtoschool2018
Mom Humor

The Five Stages of Baby Model Rejection

As a Mom, I’m contractually obligated to think my kids are adorable. The cutest kids in the world even. So when I look at my stunningly beautiful children, I do so with the awareness that I’m wearing some serious Mom-colored glasses. I don’t gush about it because the real world may see them through normal glasses and think, “Meh.” But when your bestie, who also happened to have a stint as a Mom to a real life baby model, says, “Hey, have you considered sending in her pics to a modeling agency?,” you think maybe your kid really is as cute as you think she is!

Of course, being a baby model is more than just being cute. And it’s a whole process to get into the game, but thankfully the bestie was there to hold my hand and walk me through the process. So I followed her advice, got some bright solid colored outfits and bought myself a Groupon to the JCPenney portrait studio and crossed my fingers. We got some great shots so I nervously – but somewhat confidently – went to the websites for some reputable local youth talent agencies and submitted my daughter’s pictures.

It wasn’t even 12 hours later before I got our first rejection email. I was immediately thrown into the five stages of baby model rejection. Should you find yourself thinking about entering the cutthroat world of baby modeling, you should be ready to experience all of these feelings as well. (But I’m sure you won’t – because your kid is adorable!)

Rejected by a talent agency? Us too. Check out these five hilarious stages of rejection! #momhumor #mommyhumor #babymodel #babymodelreject #talentedbaby #talentagency #howtostartmodeling #howtostartmykidmodeling #photography #kids #kidmodel #toddlermodel #toddlerphotography #shouldmykidbeamodel #ismykidcuteenough #childactor #childmodel #
Continue reading “The Five Stages of Baby Model Rejection”

momlife

The Dark Side of Having Kids That Are “Great” Eaters

There are two kinds of toddlers: the kind that are super picky eaters and the kind that aren’t. And there’s a ton of helpful information out there to help your picky eater. Which is awesome! But as much as having kids that won’t eat anything is a major PITA, I’m here to tell you that having kids that eat EVERYTHING isn’t that great either. So whether your kid is a human garbage disposal too, or you just want to feel better about your situation, here are five things that are major downsides to having kids that everyone considers to be “great” eaters.

Before you get too jealous of your friends whose kids eat everything, read this! #pickyeaters #kidsthateateverything #foodiekid #kidfoodies #minifoodie #littlefoodie #kidsmeals #kidseatveggies #kidseatfruit #getmoreveggiesforkids #momlife #dadlife #foodbtattles #eatingoutwithkids

Continue reading “The Dark Side of Having Kids That Are “Great” Eaters”

Mom Humor

Levels of Parenting Emergencies

When the babies were little, we used to take them on these “playdates” with our MomSquad. We’d pick a destination like the nature center or storytime, but what we really wanted was the companionship. And the desire to feel like we were doing something with the babies, because honestly, what are you even supposed to do with a kid that can’t even talk or move on their own yet?

So we’d lay them on the blankets and chit chat about our lives. We only had one veteran mama in our midst at the time, and she casually mentioned that the hardest part about parenting two was that you had to ignore one of your children from time to time.

What she meant, of course, is that one child’s small needs have to take a backseat to the other child’s BIG needs once in a while. Another mama literally put her hand to her mouth in horror. “I don’t care how many kids I have, I would never IGNORE one of my children.”

Spoiler alert: you would. You absolutely would.

Because when you’ve got two or more kids, the concept of “emergency” can take on a whole new meaning.  And when faced with aa parenting emergency, you HAVE to favor the squeaky wheel. Because the squeaky wheel may be bleeding. Or trying to poop in a potted plant.

Oh, come on, like that hasn’t happened to you.

At any rate, when you’ve got more than one kid, there’s a whole new hierarchy of what needs to be prioritized. We’ve got the Levels of Parenting Emergencies below, ranked from most severe to “meh.”

You think you know what counts as an emergency...until you become a mom. A little #momlife humor from TheSaltyMamas.com. #momlife #humor #funny #parentinghumor #parenting #hilarious #momoftwo #boymom #twokids #tipsfortwokids Continue reading “Levels of Parenting Emergencies”

Mom Humor

Laugh Your Way Through the 10 Levels of Parenting Desperation

Being home with my kids is a blessing.  I know it. Most days, I’m grateful. Most days are fantastic. And then there are those OTHER days. The days where you’re bored, and the kids are bored, and everyone is just a little bit off. The fact that the day is SUPPOSED to be a blessing somehow makes the whole thing worse, and you find yourself with a case of the Mondays on a Wednesday morning.  The toddler schedule isn’t working, you’re not the fun and funny mom you usually are, and you’re questioning your ability to actually parent these tiny little monsters. You start to spiral, and then decide that, come Hell or high water, this day will be salvaged. You will BEAT these stay at home mom problems. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and begin your journey through the various levels of parenting desperation.

Looking for a way to turn your bad day around? Come laugh through the 10 levels of Parenting Desperation with the funny mom behind TheSaltyMamas.com. Continue reading “Laugh Your Way Through the 10 Levels of Parenting Desperation”