Haters at the Beach

There’s this thing that happens where someone can’t picture doing what you’re about to do. Like when teachers take twenty kids on a field trip to the zoo, or when a mother announces she is going to have five preteen girls come to her daughter’s sleepover. 

It doesn’t matter whether or not they are actually qualified to do it, SOMEONE out there is going to be unable to picture themselves doing the same thing. And instead of thinking, “wow, maybe she is uniquely qualified to manage this situation,” their brain tells them, “she can’t do that! It’s dangerous!

Take, for example, the other day when I decided that I was going to take my kids to the beach. My kids are on the littler side, 4 and 1 1/2, so it was not going to be without its challenges.

I live in a beach city, so it’s not the ordeal you might imagine. We were going for an hour and a half. My friends were going. I had packed everything and we were in the car and ready to go.

And by the way the people around me responded, you would have thought that I announced I was going to take my kids to fight tigers.

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My husband says to me, “If you think it’s safe to take both kids, then go ahead.”

Oh hi, passive aggression. As in, “if somebody dies, remember, it’s on YOU.”

Taking kids to the beach doesn't HAVE to be a big deal. But apparently, no one thinks I can do it. Why I KNOW I can at TheSaltyMamas.com. #beach #beachday #summer #momlife #parenting #kids #beachwithkids #beachwithtoddlers #toddlerbeachtips

My mom says to me, when I call to complain about my husband’s lack of confidence, “No, no, of COURSE you can do this. (Is someone else going to help you? Do you have the Ergo just in case? Do you have Puddle Jumpers for both of them? Do you have sunscreen?)”

Cause clearly, I forgot all the beach stuff. You know, for the beach.

Taking kids to the beach doesn't HAVE to be a big deal. But apparently, no one thinks I can do it. Why I KNOW I can at TheSaltyMamas.com. #beach #beachday #summer #momlife #parenting #kids #beachwithkids #beachwithtoddlers #toddlerbeachtips

Even the lifeguard was like, “Ma’am, I know she has a Puddle Jumper on, but do you really want to let her play in the water by herself? Not the smartest move.”

Dear teenaged sir, I do not consider her going hip-high in water while I stand ten feet away to be in the water to be “by herself.” But since you are technically in charge here, I’m gonna have to act all concerned like I didn’t see the error of my ways until just now, and pretend that you didn’t just call me dumb to my face.

I mean, good grief. Give me a BREAK, y’all. It’s the beach- NAY, it’s the BAY- there aren’t even any waves! I keep these kids alive on the regular. I think I can handle two hours on the beach. I get it- it seems scary to you. You’re worried that you wouldn’t be able to watch both kids at the same time, or that one will get away from me. You’re worried about sunburns and shark attacks and whether the kids will get hungry. Triple Selfie at the Beach

I know the beach with kids seems daunting to you. I get that. But to me? It’s just a Tuesday. Watching these kids is literally my full time job. Whether we’re at park or an enclosed play area, I’ve gotten pretty darn good at monitoring these kids and keeping track of them on the daily. I know what I can do, and what I can’t.

Related Post: 7 Moms That Will Make You Laugh at a Kids Indoor Playground

I don’t ask whether or not you’re sure you can manage a whole day at the office, or whether you can safely monitor an entire beach at once (I’m looking at you, teenaged lifeguard). I assume that you have the training and skills to make this happen. Honestly, I am just asking that you make the same assumption for me.

I mean, yes, Abram did drink some salt water, and Lila got a little sunburned, and I got scolded by a lifeguard. But did anybody die? No, thank you very much. So that’s gotta count for something.

So next time, I’m not telling any of you people that I’m even going to the beach with kids. Your nerves are contagious, and I don’t have time for that. Don’t expect an invite. You’re not coming.

Except the lifeguard, I guess. But hopefully the next one can mind his own business and let me and my kids get our beach on in peace.

Kids at the beach

Taking kids to the beach doesn't HAVE to be a big deal. But apparently, no one thinks I can do it. Why I KNOW I can at TheSaltyMamas.com. #beach #beachday #summer #momlife #parenting #kids #beachwithkids #beachwithtoddlers #toddlerbeachtips


44 thoughts on “Haters at the Beach”

  1. I took my kids for a bike ride on a really great path one day that runs along a river. However there are trees between the path and river the entire way. Before we started I wanted to let my husband know we weren’t home. Same story! “Oh my God if Parker loses control and falls in you won’t be fast enough to get him out. He will die.” It ruined the whole experience for me. Lol. Nobody died, all three kids did great considering the other two were strapped in and stuck! What are we supposed to do when we are stuck with the kids 24/7 on our own! I don’t tell anymore either. We even went to the zoo just the three kids and myself this year. Again, all 3 made it home ?

  2. Hey you, commenter up there. I love you.
    Hey Jaymi, my parents used to FORCE my 16 year old self to take my younger brother and sister to the beach. By myself. I totally paid really close attention to them, too. You are a way better mom that teenage non-mom me.

    • It’s absolutely astounding to me. Like, yes it is hard, and sometimes, on some days, when your kids are in certain phases and stages- yes, I can absolutely see it being too hard. But maybe let me make that call for my individual children, yeah?

  3. As a mom who’s kids survived to adulthood (kind of) I suggest that you say “ok thanks” to anyone who gives unsolicited advice, and then do it your own way.

  4. I had to admit I always wait to go to the beach with my husband, but mine are still little and I wouldn’t want to risk it.

  5. As long as you are close by if anything happens and keep a good eye on them – WHO CARES! 🙂 Enjoy your fun in the sun.

  6. Damn! I didn’t think someone would get so much heat just for taking their kids to the beach!! I’m actually surprised. LOL I wonder if Ill also get haters too once I become a mom because that’s something I would prob do too.

  7. I have 2 kids and have taken them to the beach solo too. Not sure what the big deal is but I did ask my husband to take both kids with him to the store the other day so I could catch a break. He looked at me crazy..”I can’t handle both of them…” Um…really?

  8. Because when you’re a parent, EVERYONE has an opinion on what kind of a job you’re doing ha. This was a funny, relatable and light read though, so thanks for that! 🙂

  9. Just because THEY couldn’t handle it on their own doesn’t mean YOU can’t! You’re awesome and they should bow down to your supermom skills.

  10. One time a lifeguard told my kid he shouldn’t be in the water (not even to his KNEES) by himself. I was about ten feet away too. My sassy then 6-year-old wanted to know “who do you think you are, talking to a kid like that?” ?

  11. It’s funny how dad’s always have something to say. They may not feel like they can handle two kiddos at once in public but us mom’s do it all the time!

  12. Ahh!!! Those obtrusive know-it-alls… 🙁 Don’t they know a mom’s got this?! I actually can’t believe the lifeguard said that. I mean, I’m 100% neurotic when it comes to water safety (because I’m personally a pretty sh&* swimmer), but still… Loosen up, people!

    • I’m super type A, so yeah, water safety is definitely on my radar! The assumption that just because I look casual from the outside means I’m not paying attention KILLS me!

  13. HAHA! This is hilarious. I can literally see your eye rolls 😛 Glad you and your kiddos got to have some fun!

  14. I think as Mom’s we know what’s best for our kids. And if you think you can handle both kids at the beach then go for it mama. You got this! Ignore the negative opinions and comments

    • Thanks! You are so right. I know what I can handle, and what I should stay away from (for us, a shopping trip to Kohl’s is WAY more dangerous than the beach 😉 )

  15. Haha! This makes me think of Mr. Chow from The Hangover movie going “But did you dieeeee?”

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