Ahh, it’s that time of year again. The lights! The food! The parties! The inappropriate board games! The passive-aggression! Read on for a list of things we have overheard at holiday parties so far this year.
1. This tastes like alcoholic wine.
2. Who licked this pinecone?
3. It’s good to have a sense of humor when someone is looking at your underwear.
4. You vomit a lot.
5. Don’t blame this ham on me!
6. Why did Grammy push the TSA agent?!?
7. Aaaaaaand he’s naked.
8. That’s a beautiful breast.
9. I’ve never heard “I Don’t Want No Scrubs” sung with so much twang before.
10. It’s not Hypnotiq, but it’s equally as distasteful.
11. Well, you’re looking pretty old these days.
12. The baby’s in the liquor cabinet again.
13. “We still have clhamydia.” “Oooh, great!”
14. There’s a sheep in this tree.
15. You should be taking a shot of beetroot everyday.
16. Why is this gin martini brown?
17. Well that’s an interesting look.
18. Even the trolls love the baby Jesus.
19. This is much too big for me now, so I figured you could wear it.
20. Quite an explosive lap dance.
Drop your gems in the comments below. Happy Holidays!